“AND HERE’S TO YOU, MRS. ROBINSON”

By Gary Morgenstein/How to Find a Woman…Or Not

Gary Morgenstein’s dating and relationship book How to Find a Woman…Or Not is a groundbreaking new method for finding true love, which views all of Planet Earth as a singles bar. Walking your dog, practicing yoga, riding mass transit, buying a book or lamb chops, renting an apartment, washing your socks or even getting your teeth cleaned can lead to the woman of your dreams.

In How to Find a Woman…Or Not, the critically-acclaimed novelist/playwright (Jesse’s Girl, Loving Rabbi Thalia Kleinman, Take Me Out to the Ballgame) combines his own battle-scarred dating experiences and public relations background to provide men of all ages with a comic, erotic guide to romance, love, sex and the ultimate relationship.

Morgenstein furnishes practical advice for meeting women in all situations, from hospitals and gyms to airport terminals; the best conversation-opening props; charming a girl in an elevator; what not to put in your supermarket shopping cart; romance in a doctor’s waiting room; how to land an older or younger woman; phone call/texting/email tips; navigating online dating; work relationships without losing your job; pros and cons of your mother finding you a girl; the do’s and don’ts of dating behavior; bedroom tactics, progressing beyond the first date to a real relationship, and much more.

Like the benefits of dating older women:

1. She won’t snicker when you take off your shirt. 
2. No sucking in the gut while commenting work’s been so crazy you haven’t had time for the gym and some rival at work is sabotaging you by leaving Dunkin’ Donuts on your desk every morning so you’ll go into a sugar coma
3. Maybe her body won’t be in an SI swimsuit issue
4. And you’re posing for Playgirl?
5. They age. We age.  They understand
6. We must, also
7. Unless she’s angling to get her own reality show, she won’t want children. Either she’s had hers or missed the biological boat and might embrace yours as a mascot
8. An older woman will split the bill with you because she’s reached a point in her life where she understands the hard work it takes to pay for a meal
9. How about that, huh? No more blowing $160 for a peck on the cheek. You might still only get a peck on the cheek, but it’ll cost you $80
10. With an older woman, you might have something concrete to talk about, like career and children and politics and travel. Hey, you might even learn something from her. A real conversation

And then there is sex with an older woman

1. If you make it to the promised land, you probably don’t have to excuse yourself to duck into the bathroom in your socks to swallow the magic blue pill, then plop on her armchair stalling for the requisite 20 minutes as you wax eloquent about her curtains
2. If not, she’ll surely understand why Mr. Big isn’t after two glasses of wine while taking your clothes off for the first time before a strange, panting woman
3. Older women like to experiment
4. Older women can be really hot
5. She might also view you as a hottie

So why don’t younger guys beat a fiery path to the doorsteps of older women? Because we’re shallow. But give it a chance. At the least, you might have someone reasonably sane to talk to. Who might even let you…

                              -more

In addition to How to Find a Woman…Or Not, Gary Morgenstein’s novels include Loving Rabbi Thalia Kleinman, about a divorced man who falls in love with a beautiful woman rabbi; Jesse’s Girl, a powerful story about a father’s search for his adopted teenage son, and Take Me Out to the Ballgame, a political baseball thriller, as well as the baseball Rocky The Man Who Wanted to Play Center Field for the New York Yankees. His prophetic play Ponzi Man played to sell-out crowds at the New York Fringe Festival. He lives in Brooklyn, New York, surrounded by lots of books and rock and roll CDs.