Got Advise?

[oldie_but_goodie]

ok I am new to this chat game and posted this thread several places.. help me out! Need advise... I need feedback. I recently broken up with my cub (or my lil bumble bee diaper bag as I lovingly called him) about a month ago. Being the older more mature one, you would think I could shake the lost and move on. I am married with kids with a great professional life. This busy little bumble bee came buzzing into my life and stung me in all the right places (places I was not getting at stung at home and places I didn’t know could be stung) and I completely lost all sense of what was right. I felt more his age than mine. He made me feel alive sexually, physically and mentally! He was pollinating a flower 12 yrs older but dag was the nectar sweet. This flower had new blooms every day. I have actually known him since his childhood and we were friends. He and my brothers grew up together and we ran into each other about 4 yrs ago and one thing lead to another. This has b een the best but worst 4 yrs of my life. The things he did for me sexually at my age completely turned me into his slave. I did more for him that I did for myself or my family. He was truly a friend first then he became my lover but I also always felt like a mother figure to him too. Here is the catch... because I was married, he never wanted to stop seeing other women and I tried real hard to accept that. He also was very spoiled and self centered plus mean and heartless at times. We had agreements and fights just like a true couple and in so many way he treated, used and made me feel like his wife. We saw each other every day, good and/or bad days. For 4 yrs I put up with him filling up other bee hives with his (my) honey and I still catered to his every every every need. I gave him anything and everything but I felt I needed to because I was married and I didn’t want to lose that feeling he gave me (in so many mind blowing ways). Then one day the “you know what” hit the fan and he crossed the line by disrespecting my in front of one of his flings. I guess I was fed up and tired of his mind games and lost it. I went left field on him and made sure all the hives he had been buzzing knew about each other. I blew his game out of the water. Remember I was also the mother figure that would not leave him in his mind so I knew about all of the rest, they just didn’t know about me. I walked away but I have been miserable since. My husband found out about it all but in spite of it, we are still together but I spend every minute of every day and night wishing and wanting him back. So tell me, how can I be 2 old 2 be so foolish?

Hormones, lust and unfulfillment. I don't want to preach, but....you may need counseling for this? It's pretty awesome your husband stayed with you after four years of this. I'm seriously not saying this to make you feel bad, but maybe you need a female counseler to help you with these feelings that you have of wanting him back in your life.


I'm not sure what to say, but I thought I'd say something because I feel the same way about the woman I saw 2 years ago and have thought abou ther daily since we broke it off.

[sonnydelight]

Your story sounds painful...and counseling is always recommended for just about everything from how to shop successfully at Wal-Marts to getting over childhood phobias...but it seems to me that since you are here at this site for the same reasons as me, you should go ahead and meet some more youngsters...like me for instance.

Not all of us would take a lovely lady such as yourself for such granted.
Since there was an apparent lack of 'Steam' at home, maybe it would do you good to still find it elsewhere. But also, it is most important not to throw away a life partnership for something that isn't worth it. I would love to correspond with you. Give me a little hello sometime.

[buni]

oh wow. That would be hard to go through, but you really need to try to get over him.
I agree with the others about the counseling.
I wish I could say more, but I can't say anything without sounding like I am judging you, which I wouldn't be.

[buni]

Originally Posted by oldie_but_goodie

ok I am new to this chat game and posted this thread several places.. help me out! Need advise... I need feedback. I recently broken up with my cub (or my lil bumble bee diaper bag as I lovingly called him) about a month ago. Being the older more mature one, you would think I could shake the lost and move on. I am married with kids with a great professional life. This busy little bumble bee came buzzing into my life and stung me in all the right places (places I was not getting at stung at home and places I didn’t know could be stung) and I completely lost all sense of what was right. I felt more his age than mine. He made me feel alive sexually, physically and mentally! He was pollinating a flower 12 yrs older but dag was the nectar sweet. This flower had new blooms every day. I have actually known him since his childhood and we were friends. He and my brothers grew up together and we ran into each other about 4 yrs ago and one thing lead to another. This has b een the best but worst 4 yrs of my life. The things he did for me sexually at my age completely turned me into his slave. I did more for him that I did for myself or my family. He was truly a friend first then he became my lover but I also always felt like a mother figure to him too. Here is the catch... because I was married, he never wanted to stop seeing other women and I tried real hard to accept that. He also was very spoiled and self centered plus mean and heartless at times. We had agreements and fights just like a true couple and in so many way he treated, used and made me feel like his wife. We saw each other every day, good and/or bad days. For 4 yrs I put up with him filling up other bee hives with his (my) honey and I still catered to his every every every need. I gave him anything and everything but I felt I needed to because I was married and I didn’t want to lose that feeling he gave me (in so many mind blowing ways). Then one day the “you know what” hit the fan and he crossed the line by disrespecting my in front of one of his flings. I guess I was fed up and tired of his mind games and lost it. I went left field on him and made sure all the hives he had been buzzing knew about each other. I blew his game out of the water. Remember I was also the mother figure that would not leave him in his mind so I knew about all of the rest, they just didn’t know about me. I walked away but I have been miserable since. My husband found out about it all but in spite of it, we are still together but I spend every minute of every day and night wishing and wanting him back. So tell me, how can I be 2 old 2 be so foolish?

Yeah, holding on will just make things worse.

I don't know why, but I have read this a few times and I am sorry, but you seriously need to get that help. I try not to judge anyone, but I know right from wrong and this situation was wrong from the get go.
It seems like you got pleasure from hurting that young man by ruining his other relationships. YOU had a HUSBAND and family! You had no right messing around with that guy in the first place. Cheating is never right! I don't care what the reason is!

You should consider yourself lucky that your husband keeps you around. Maybe instead of chasing guys for the lust of it you should focus on your husband and family. You don't realize how lucky you are right now to have a husband who must love you and who would take you back or keep you after what you did to him!!

Sorry. Anyone feel like telling me off go right ahead. I'm being honest here. I don't condone cheating or hurting others out of spite.