Long distance relationships

[cub_lvr]

How would you handle a very strong attraction with someone who's not in your area? Do long distance relationships make any sense? I think it is hurtful and torturing to be in touch with cubs from other states or even other countries without being able to personally meet. What if you really like each other and want to be together but can't meet anytime soon for various reasons? I've tried doing this more than once and have found that is not the best choice. Would like to hear comments from cougars and cubs about this issue and how would you handle a long distance relationship or even start one.

[bayridgebabe]

cub_lvr, I myself would never ever enter into a long distance relationship. What's the point? All I can see is disappointment, maybe even hurt. It's hard enough meeting people near me that really want to meet in person w/out going poof. Why would I want to start up something with someone that was truly out-of-reach. To each his/her own, but for me nope, would never even try.

[cub_lvr]

Very true Bayridgebabe, better to guard our hearts.

[drazic1986]

Attraction, a very powerful emotion, unfortunately, one that we don't have a great deal of control over, and you can predict that half the time, the person you're attracted to, is miles upon miles, away!

Long distance relationships are generally false economy if neither one is prepared to relocate long term, should that situation arise.

Nothing like having your nose rubbed in something, or someone, that you can't have, eh!

I'm very mixed on the subject to be honest, 50/50. If I liked the person enough, then no matter how impractical one would deem it, if it felt right, right IS right.

[tiffanyfontaine]

I like to believe in life's random and endless possibilities. So, I don't rule out long distance relationships completely. With that said, if, after a few emails, IMs, phone conversations and/or cam chats, I see no possibility of meeting the person within a few weeks, I move on. Unless you might want to pursue merely an intellectual relationship with a man you've meant online, I wouldn't pursue a romantic relationship with someone I have not met within a reasonable amount of time, within two months or less.

[Laurad121]

I am not into long distance relationships. I was involved in one years ago and it leads to so much lonliness between visits and also it is so hard to part company when the visit is over without me being sad. I don't need the extra drama or grief. Also, I would never relocate b/c of my kids so that they can see my ex. So I only date local guys and say this when I am contacted.

[_CougarHunting_]

I've been in many long distance relationship's. My personal advice is to be very cautious should you enter into one. There are many dark corner's into a long distance relationship that could prove fatal to your relationship with that person. The Truth - How do you know who they are what they say they are. People do lie to sheild thing's from what they wish you not to see or know. A few photo's are nice but meeting a person can be better to shed the light on the " Truth " of the matter of who they really are. If you are bold enough to endure this do not accept not meeting for no longer then a few month's.
I've paid the price before waiting a year before I, would meet that person. There are time's when they would back out especially when I, would make purchase airline ticket's just to meet. When it come's to the meeting factor let them make the first move. My 2nd best suggestion if you feel this is going some where run a back ground check. It never hurts to find out if there really married or not. As well as to know if there is something dark they've been hiding. The old saying if it's to good to be true the possiblity is yes it is. Trust yourself and trust your instinct. If you feel a person is possibly cheating on you it's quite possibly true. Telephone calls are nice but then I, wouldn't drag something on over the internet and just phone calls with out meeting them and going exclusive with them till you have meet. The Disappearence game - Should this ever happen and a person is gone longer then a month or 2 and then comes back and trys to get back with you. I, would consider moving on or if you feel like develing deeper into that dark corner i'd want concrete proof.

Life is just too short don't be exclusive with anyone till your certain its them and you have meet them.

Good luck with Long Distance Relationship should you care to try it.

Sincerely : Michael

[caramel]

Long-distance relationship is not for everyone. I have been in this kind of relationship before and it ended with a heartbreak, so I personally would never advice it. Even if you love each other the chances it will work out are very low.

[anakin16]

Speaking form my own perspective, I think it can work to a point. It did for me for three years, and to be honest when it did end it wasnt really the distance it was more that it had just run its course. When it begins to run into trouble is where the time comes for the bigger commitment. When you both feel like moving in together or the distance thing has lost the appeal and its not just every other week you want to see each other. But in saying all that I see no reason not to try it...that long distance "one" might prove to be the one that lasts. Yes we need to be guarded but to be honest dont we need to be in every relationship? Even the one with him/her from down the road. Any person has the potential to hurt the other and no matter the distance trust will be an issue. I do think it comes down to what we feel comfortable with...if it scares the hell out of someone..then dont...if you feel like there is no boundaries to what might happen then..well sometimes its best to let things run...before you know it you may be living in another country happily commited to someone..or yes...broken hearted...such is life...incedentally..the distance for me was Ireland to Spain...

[_CougarHunting_]

As for what Caramel pointed out they are only as low as both of your expectation's and your willingness as well as there's to try. Heart break's can come even if you have a short distanced relationship. As I, have learned from my long distance relationship of 3 year's. If the other is not as committed as truely as you are to the relationship you both have together then it is self defeating. This is why meeting the person is very crucial in a long distance relationship and why keeping in contact is of the up most importance. Love , trust , kindness , goodness , gentleness, honesty & faithfullness can hold it together but this must be obeserved and taken to heart by both and not just by one.
Love is a word not to be used lightly.

Having faith is a keystone to a relationship.