He loves me

[Laurad121]

So I have been dating a man 13 years younger than me for the past 6 months. It started out as causal/NSA and over the last 3 months has changed. We see each other very often (3 or 4 times a week, sometimes more) in the past 3 months. Well the other night he sent me a text that he got home safe and that he loves me, can't wait to see me again and will be thinking about me. I was in complete shock. So when I saw him last night I asked him if he texted me this b/c he really means he loves me or b/c he was drunk. He told me he doesn't say "I love you" carelessly and really means it. I have yet to meet his family or close friends. I don't want to pressure him but am considering telling him I would like him to let me more into his world if he really loves me but then again I don't want to pressure him. Any thoughts?

[houstoncougar]

I need to know your ages before I can comment if you don't mind me asking.

[sexy_pleasure]

I would seriously wait till I see what he does, how he handles this love he feels for you and how serious he is about this.
I personally would not ask for anything, some times actions speak lauder than words. Then again I agree with "HC", it is not the same when you are dealing with very young man vs. when you dealing with a more mature and experienced man.

[tiffanyfontaine]

How nice that you're having such a romantic relationship.

But, you seem to be a bit dissatisfied with your new love affair. Maybe it's because you feel insecure because he's younger than you. Whatever the reason, you need to look at the reasons you feel uncomfortable.

I'm wondering if you ever go out in public together since you say you haven't met any of his friends or his family. Does this guy mainly come to your house and do you just stay in and have sex or do you go out on dates?

If I were you, I'd start planning real dates where the two of you go out in public. Go to shows, art galleries, sports events, restaurants. Then, you will be seen. Maybe ask your guy to have some of his friends meet you for a day at the beach or at a park or restaurant. If your guy seems reluctant to go out with you in public or unwilling to introduce his friends to you, then you should start worrying.

[Laurad121]

I just turned 41 and he is turning 28 in a week. We do go out in public on dates and hang out at a local bar he is a regular at but none of his closest friends go to this bar. We do have a lot of sex but that is not the sole basis of the relationship.....

[houstoncougar]

I think that is a nice age range especially thinking in terms of a LTR. I would deff start with meeting his friends if he won't introduce you to them then I wouldn't even bother with trying to make it work. Although his family might be easier on the both of you than his friends are.

[sexy_pleasure]

Originally Posted by houstoncougar

I think that is a nice age range especially thinking in terms of a LTR. I would deff start with meeting his friends if he won't introduce you to them then I wouldn't even bother with trying to make it work. Although his family might be easier on the both of you than his friends are.

I totally agree , that is a big RED FLAG!!!

[phxgirl1]

My concern is that he told you electronically that he loves you. Has he been face to face with you and said it? If after the face to face, I would think he'd want to introduce you to his friends and family that "this is the woman that I am in love with, we've gotten to know each other and I know I love her".

[tiffanyfontaine]

All three women, houston, sexy and phxgirl seem to agree with what I feel about your relationship, Laurad.

Although your guy may be fun and romantic, after six months, it's time to move the relationship forward. You seem a bit dissatisfied anyway in terms of where you're going with him.

Plan a casual, picnic party at the beach, a park or some other outdoor venue. Tell your young guy you'd like him to invite some of his friends. If that's too much, ask him to invite some of his friends to meet the two of you for coffee or drinks on a Friday or Saturday at a local restaurant.

If your guy doesn't seem eager to have his friends meet you at any of these places, I would move on to another more healthy relationship.

[Jet_Nebula]

I'd like to offer a man's perspective, if I may? My girlfriend is 48 and I'm 32 and we've been dating for almost three years. We both had reservations, at first, when it came to friends and family. Her parents are fairly conservative and she was scared of what they would think of me, her mom in particular. Her fears turned out to be groundless because they accepted our relationship and are accepting me one step at a time. My end was a little different. My dad and brother have always been generally accepting so it was easier for me than it was for her. I was worried about my best friend because he was there when my last relationship went up in smoke and he had been distant towards the women in my life after he saw and felt what happened to me.

I was wrong. He warmed to my girlfriend and they became fast friends. I was quite relieved that he didn't lay down the law when he first met her. Your man might be worried,and that's all right. But he can't put it off forever. If he's serious about you and is in love with you then he will introduce you to his people because his people are a big part of his life and he will want to include you.