How things have changed...

[Got_the_tshirt]

I have been out of the dating pool for over seven years. Naturally I was aware of the changes going on through my peripheral vision, but as I was deeply involved, had no reason to pay too much attention to them. Now I am not one hundred percent sure, but I don't believe the term "cougar" even existed when I was last single. My girlfriend's friends teased her that she was a "cradle snatcher" when we first got together. Then all of a sudden we were in vogue. Like Demi and Ashton of our neighborhood. Granted she looks as good as Demi, I can't say in all honesty that I look as good as Ashton. My point is... Finally... How things have changed. Does everyone feel that the age gap issues have dissolved? Or is it my imagination?

[houstoncougar]

I remember when I was 25 one of my dates mom's stopped by my apartment for a confrontation with him not me, but after that my room mates posted a Must be 21 to Enter sign over my bedroom door. I sure hope things have changed or I've been placed on a lot of mom's **** lists over the years.

[Got_the_tshirt]

The mothers don't share your interest in younger men... they are in denial, I'm sure. Then again, each to their own. I was recently at a social function at which I happened to know almost everyone since I was a teenager. I haven't seen these people for over a decade, perhaps more. What was interesting, is that I found the women, just as interesting, as sexy and frankly as unattainable as when I was a teenager. Granted some of them have husbands (whom I also happen to know) and therefor are out of bounds. But I couldn't help myself thinking "what if".

The problem, and it is a major stumbling block, is that in conversation EVERY single one of the ladies in question mentioned how they remember me as a teenager and how they can't believe how I have changed and grown. Clearly, that is obvious. Of course I have changed. Naturally I have grown. I am an adult. But the very notion that they retain an image of me as a teenager precludes any kind of attraction. Am I wrong? I think not.

There was an almost palpable sense of fascination in one of the ladies eyes, as if she literally could not fathom how I have transformed from a teen to a man, as if by magic! She kept looking back at me from another table... and honestly, I couldn't stop myself looking back at her. But whether from my point of view, she was this incredibly beautiful woman, I am guessing from her's I was more of an incongruity. So although things change, perhaps if a woman has seen the boy grow up to become a man, there is still a taboo surrounding them having a relationship. The age gap relationship can only really work if the older partner didn't know the younger partner before they became an object of desire.

[Laurad121]

I don't think age gap issues have dissolved. My younger man (doesn't consider me his girlfriend yet but I think that is changing) says his parents and friends would have a problem with my age. When we go out there is usually at least one or two people who look at us and I think they are thinking "what the heck is this?"

[cub_lvr]

One thing about cougars and cubs that really matters to me before I go out with someone, is that we need to be on the same page with regard to comments from people. I don't think we should care about what other people think or say about our age difference. It is our lives, not theirs, and we don't have to be people pleasers. People will always talk anyway and will never be satisfied. It is up to us to ignore these negative comments and enjoy our lifes and our fun moments. I don't think your friend or boyfriend should even care what his family thinks since when there is love, all negative things should be ignored.

[laine175]

I think in safe enviroments like this it appears possible.....but the reality can be very different...I still think a lot of younger guys are just looking for the cougar experience in safety online out of sight of their peers and family.....but we live in hope!!!

[rhonda2]

Tshirt- that second post of yours was wonderfully insightful - you picked up the most subtle clues and interpreted them quite accurately I think. I bet you would be equally wonderful in conversation. Now- don't let this go to your head.

[Jet_Nebula]

I think the media has helped and hurt the age gap issue. Media aside, the only opinions that should matter are your own and your partner's. Friends and family are going to come into play sooner or later and you both need to be ready to handle that. There's always going to be uncomfortable questions and whispers behind the hand. Shrug it off and try to remember what's more important. It's your life,your love,and your relationship.

[lady_emerson]

Changed?
I remember when I was young (don't ask)
And I had a friend with a telephone number of 290-0090
dialing a zero or a 9 took forever and so I rarely called her.
anyone remember the real dial phones?

[matt_sabbath_684]

Ive always been attracted to older women, and personally I hate that its become "in vogue" or a trend. Like that show on the television, The Cougar. I watched one episode just to prove myself right that all the guys on there were hipster-fags. I hate the fact that the show even existed. As for Ashton, and Demi, I don't hate them one bit. They did they're thang and the media went berserk. I have a passion in life, and pop culture took the **** right out of it.