33 years old... married.. obsessed with older women

I feel it's up to us women to refuse to accept this atrocious, life-shattering behavior. Be empowered! Raise your sons to have regard for ALL living things, respect for people and regard for women. Refuse to accept any kind of "out of line" behavior from someone you are getting to know, dating or involved with. If we women will be less tolerant and more firm about drawing our line in the sand, many men will begin to see past their own selfish wants. That whole attitude of "boys will be boys" is carte blanche for them to ruin lives and barely receive a slap on the hand for it. We have to set the standard, women. We are the ones who make a civilization "civil."

RR

"Vive La Difference!".....I have a plate on my bus conversion motorhome that reads: "If You Can't Run With The Big Dogs.......Stay On The Porch!" It's my motto and mostly how I look at things. These guys are coming on this site expecting to have some kind of interaction with women of a more "mature" vintage. If they haven't been taught the basics IE: courtesy, manners, respect for others and simple human decency, I have no time for them. I refuse to molly-coddle, pander to or make excuses for their funky, disrespectful behavior.

What I AM interested in is a journey of mutual discovery and delight with someone who has either experienced an agegap relationship or is "truly" interested in making a loving connection with me not some Joe Blow who is so busy trying to collect as many women as possible that he completely overlooks the class and quality of the woman right in front of him.

I have been dating wonderful younger men in the "real" world since I was 25. I will be 58 in June. Since the inception of the internet and internet dating, I have met more rude, insensitive guys with an overblown attitude of entitlement than I ever experienced in "real" life. This venue emboldens them to crude behaviors they would "never" attempt in person because they would get stomped on if they tried.

I hold to those "real world" standards and will continue to do so. Harsh? Maybe. It's "my" life and "my" choice. "Different Strokes For Different Folks."

Flyin Solo And Lovin It......
RR

For The Record: I am no basher.....I rarely(sometimes I slip up...lol)say anything about a "specific" member only comment about what is unacceptable behavior "to me." Because I am no stranger to agegap dating,relationships and marriage, I do expect to be treated with courtesy, respect and consideration and do no less in my communication with the guys and the gals I have contact with. Simple courtesy, manners and respect have "nothing" to do with maturity either as far as I'm concerned.

Runnin With The Big Dogs......
RR

[houstoncougar]

Forgive me I opened my mouth yet again and was instantly chastised and demeaned by the queen of goC... shame on me! Therefore all forum posts have been deleted are you pleased your highness?

[meeeeeow]

GURRRRLS!!!!!

WHADDDUP?

I am proudly ****ing men young enough to be my sons! Halla****ingluyah! And you know what? He said, my son, tonight, over drinks, that it was A OK for me to date young men if it is ok for him to date older women and I said BRAVO. I also said, always be straight and honest emotionally.

I love these young energetic specimans and they love it back. It's mutual. It's consensual. It's marvelous. Makes me feeeeeeeeel like a teenager.

Now. This, as has been said, is not a forum in which to judge moral character and (gasp) affairs with married folk.

No, no, no....this is about how we feel, in response to what this man wrote. Hmmmmm?

How do we feel?

[cleoquel]

I just got back today from visiting family-of-origin 500 miles away and breezed through the recent posts. Seems like we have another thread here that could be interesting-- family of origin issues. Like other posters, my father had affairs (but I was so young, I really didn't know about them for many years--and there were more pressing issues my family was dealing with when I was younger). But to be brief--how about a thread describing how our early family may or might have had some influence about how we interpret cougar-ism. I thought one post was interesting--that the girls in the family did not have traditional families of their own.

So how about it-- should we set up another separate thread? Of course, that will be hard to keep on topic too, but might be worth the experiment.

[xoticbrandi]

My question is how old is your wife? What's missing that makes you cheat-
and do you have a mommy complex? Although we older more sophisticated
women find it flattering for eligible intelligent men to make positive remarks
about how wonderful we are, I think the fact that you're married is insulting
to us because you've given and taken away a compliment all in the same
breath by reducing us to mere playthings..."girls" if you will. Tell me why you
cheat? Don't you think you're doing yourself and your family (particularly
the wife you're so "happily married" to) a disservice? You deserve better for
yourself. We deserve better than the disesteem you seem to hold us in and
so does your family. No offense, but you can't say you're happily married if
you're running around having affairs. I'm sure you're an otherwise nice guy,
but maybe it would be better if you let the Cougars go and hold on to the
wonderful life you have built for yourself. A professor, a fine family...come
on. Don't be greedy!

[meeeeeow]

We're judging people here. Wow. And from where folks? I am completely dumfounded!

Let's see. We can't say we're happily married and have an alternative(whatever that may be) lifestyle? Hmmmm. Interesting.

And wouldn't, in some cases, our lifestyle, be considered, gasp, alternative?

I'm sorry. I must have completely lost this thread....

I'm all for having a good time and enjoying this so-called "alternative" lifestyle. As I have stated in previous posts, long before "cougarism"(I detest the term ...ewww!) I was dating, involved with and married to younger men. ALL of them were respectful, decent "men"(one was 17 when we first met) and treated me like I was the most special person in the world.

This particular situation is extremely distasteful to me because of how destructive and negative it is and all of the lives dismissed, disrupted and destroyed because of yet another persons' sick selfishness.

For any of you who believe in no holds barred, so be it. Your life, your choice. I believe otherwise. I won't do married men, period!!! Those of you who see this as "judgement" are quite free to take him up on his offer. I can't imagine why though when there are soooo many, beautiful, "free" guys running around to choose from.

As for allowing the "younger" men to behave other than as civilized "adults"(this is an "adult" dating site, is it not?)-thats a personal choice and I choose to hold them to the standards that I believe in. Again, anyone who disagrees, it's your life and the choice you have to live and be comfortable with.

Runnin With The Big Dogs.....
RR

RE: Young "men"-if they are rude, crude or otherwise disrespectful, why should that be tolerated? There is a huge difference between being "kind" and enabling obnoxious behavior. I will reiterate again, simple courtesy, manners and respect are qualities we should ALL be encouraging in each other-EVERYONE. If these "young" men want to use this site as a place to behave like cretins, I, for one, refuse to tolerate it. The more it is given free reign, the more pervasive it becomes.

Liking or disliking anyones' youth is irrelevant regarding bad behavior since it comes in all, shapes, sizes, AGES, genders and ethnicities.


Runnin With The Big Dogs....
RR