Insulting to be called a cougar?

[southerncoug]

I'm just curious where others stand with this. The guy I am casually seeing constantly calls me a cougar and sometimes I feel it's derogatory. I own what I am but how do the rest of the ladies feel about always being reminded you are a cougar? He never lets me forget it.

[bayridgebabe]

Then I say he has a problem. I personally prefer to be called a woman, his girlfriend, a lady, or even an older woman dating a younger man. The term cougar is totally unfair. What do you call an older man who dates a younger woman, NOTHING, as there is no term or label for that. No offense intended here but if that was me I'd tell him off or to be honest tell him to grow the "F" up. Seems he likes the label (cougar) and insists on getting a rise out of you. To me he sounds too immature, just saying (IMHO). Please don't take offense to my response, but you did ask us how we feel & I gave you my opinion.

[bigglesworth]

If he never let's you forget it, then he has a problem, how about just accepting you are a nice woman with a few years on him, or it it a game for his ego to keep telling you that you are older and that he is just a poor innocent youngster that you trapped? He sounds like he has an ego problem. I would tell him to cut it out or you will cut him off. LOL

[southerncoug]

Thank you ladies. I agree with you. I just wondered if I was being overly sensitive but I can see that I'm not. I realize that maybe he's just too immature to handle this.

[lynda]

I am not sure where they got the label Cougar but I think the older men dating younger women should be called an old goat. I have been dating younger men for the past 20 or so years and darn sure did not have a label put on me then. The media has a lot to do with it and they seem to talk to all the wrong women and not us normal ladies that actually enjoy and want a real relationship with a younger man. Sounds like your younger man is having his fantasy in dating an older woman. You know what to do.....lol

[tiffanyfontaine]

Cougar is just a term some journalist made up to label a woman who happens to date younger men. It probably originally had a satirical intent, meant to
poke fun at women who "hunted" younger guys in a predatory way.

I don't like labels so I generally dislike the term, as I dislike the term MILF.

[susanlb50]

I don't like the term either and I would hate for a guy to keep referring to me as a cougar..and don't get me started with the term MILF...that is just disgusting to me..

[olderisbetter44]

I like the Old Goat idea as a name for old men that like young girls lol

I don't consider it an insult to be called a cougar but if the guy is obsessed with the fact that you are a cougar at the expense of every other facet of your relationship and it is bothering you then I would start to look for someone else if I were you.

[Airpryce]

Coming from a male's point of view. I don't believe cougar to be a derogatory phrase, initially. I mean there is a sort of reverence with being associated with that type of a creature: one known for its physical prowess, grace, lithe, and elegance. One more than one occassion I've been with a group of buddies and we notice a "cougar". Whether she's a beautiful, confident older woman or that corporate executive that seems to exude some type of predatory aura, I believe that's what makes a cougar. In fact, as I'm writing this, I am actually coming to the realization that I'm describing one of my best female friends at college who, despite being 19 and exclusively dates older men, is a cougar.

However, if you're in a relationship or even casually dating, the word cougar should be left at home. I think it is a title that while women should feel a sort of pride when being associated with, I also think it is a bit of overkill, insensitivity, and redundancy to use it in conversation.

As for MILF. Well, with most guys my age and unfortunately a half a decade older, it is a phrase I hear quite a bit. Though I'd never say it, I'd say to be referred to as a MILF is a compliment, a raunchy, pornographic, and vulgar compliment. But not something I'd see as a problem unless someone was disrespectful enough to say it to your face.

[RavynX]

I haven't seen a problem with it but then again I am not constantly being barraged with the term/label. I think if the woman is okay with it then it's okay to use it but other than that I would not use it around others unless you are talking about who the media has deemed as cougars. My friend likes the term when looking at older women and it makes it quicker to give a general description about someone rather than beating around the bush trying to be politically correct. I guess you can think of it more as an 'inside word' between friends to make it less condescending as long as the understanding is mutual.