Cougars, cubs, and storks

[cherryaa]

It's me me me -choose me

its me, me me me me me, I'm not needy
but please please please please please choose me

pleeeaassseee

[al3x]

*Looks on the horizon*

No takers I see...

I need to rework my approach, naked shots incoming...

[cherryaa]

but but but but but but

what about me me me

pleeeeaasssee dont ignore me

[cherryaa]

Sorry will be serious for a moment.

I do think that its tough knowing what you want and making decisions about future children when you are young yourself.

As a childless woman myself, I can say that one can have a perfectly happy, satisfying, fulfilled life without the presence of children, but it is not for everyone.

Children create a structure to a relationship, sometimes good sometimes bad, but sometimes having choices can be a bad thing too. When there are no actual stakes in the ground, it can be hard to decide where to pitch your tent, or even what style or colour that tent should be.

I do think that if you are open to life's opportunities then the ones that you decide to take could lead you to places you never intended but you adore visiting.

If a young man is convinced that he does want children in the end , then its probably better to avoid going down the path of engaging with women who cannot satisfy that demand. For many of us what started as a light hearted piece of nothing turns into something much more despite our own best efforts.

For those not sure either way, then really the goal should be to find a good partner then deal with whatever the consequences might be.

(All IMHO)

[spirit_sh]

well guy here...let me share my two cents with you..honestly, i'm still yet in a phase of my life in wich i really don't know what I really want and what will be of me...we are a generation that is growing very very slowly...personally i'm not yet ready to have a son(i'll not be a good father) and i consider this possibility very very far in the time...so, if i ever will be a father i'll be an old father..but everyday i'm much more unsure if i want it or not...i'm scared at the idea of having a son in my late 30 or worst...
it's strange for me thinking that when they had my age, my parents were yet married...and soon they had their first son...
so, really, I'm living a kind of life that don't allow me to have a baby in a short time...and sincerely i don't even think about it...my toughts are that I dont want to plan a such important thing like that at the moment...when it will happen, IF it will happen, I'll do my best to do my job...but i repeat...if this will not happen...well, I don't consider having son (at the moment) a priority...
maybe in the next years i'll change my opinion, maybe not...but i don't want that the future decisions have to conditionate my present chioices...

[sonia]

In all honesty I never read in full those really long-winded profiles and I pay no attention to the 'want children' option: it would certainly never influence me as to whether I decide to talk to someone or not.
Of course having a child is completely life changing and people of any age can change their minds about their desire to procreate: I have known focussed career women change their mind about wanting a child once they reach 40 or so and hear their biological clocks starting to tick VERY loudly. On the other hand many times it has not even been a conscious decision made before a woman actually becomes pregnant.
So, live for the moment as anything can, and does, happen!

[violet]

Originally Posted by lunamor

Ha ha! Yea, I share that aversion to checklist-style "Are you right for the job?" approach - curiosity, mystery and discovery are better!

Hehe, shopping for a sofa at Ikea, I call it.

Anyway...that biological clock thing did it for me. I had my daughter when I was 37. Was sure I didn't want kids before. So I can relate that it's hard to know when you're still young.

On the other side of things...someone started a thread a while back about whether we women would date a young man with a young child. I can say, it's not what I'm looking for, but then I wouldn't rule it out if the relationship was right.

[vita]

I liked alex' post about how a ready-made menu on dating sites is off-putting. I agree with that. I've now made my own profile completely meaningless really because pigeon-holes don't cut it for me either

I don't have set views - I am a kind of "I'll go with this situation" kind of person. It wouldn't be my ideal situation if someone else has children but I have done it on the few occasions I've been seeing women who happened to have children

Sometimes, I do a little start. Heavens, i'm still capable of having a child - heaven help the poor little sprog if that ever happens

[sealion]

well there is the presumption about bonding etc. being right from the womb, but I'm not so sure about that (in the extreme case) lets say the kid was taken right at birth to someone else then would the kid still have a bond with the biological mother.

In this day and age, the courts system is still a bit behind, and based on precedent still awards custody to the mother often even in times when the father might be more suitable. Thus the kid ending up with the mother more often may not always be because the mother is more suitable but because of precedent so to speak. Exerting paternity rights is actually pretty tough.

[tiffanyfontaine]

What's all the fuse about older women not being able to have children?? Actually, women can now have children at age! After menopause, if an older woman still has a uterus, she can use an egg donor--maybe a member of her own family like a niece or even a friend. Then, a doctor, using invitro fertilization combines the donated egg with her younger man's sperm. If an older woman is willing to use hormones to prepare her body to nurture a donated egg, she can have a child the natural way even at 65 or beyond.
Also, there are surrogates who can be the incubator for a young man's sperm and donated egg. The surrogate delivers the baby and hands it to the young man and older woman to raise as their own. And finally, the older woman and younger man can adopt a baby. There are many solutions to this so called problem. However, if the older woman simply doesn't want to have a child around at all, that's a whole other issue.