Celebrate Your Broken Heart

[lunamor]

Removed by author.

[vita]

Hmmmmmmm.

It's a good try, I guess, at getting us to feel better at something which generally makes you feel pretty lousy but I think the positives listed are all things we can know about ourselves, and display, without going through the unpleasantness of a "broken heart". But I tend to connect emotionally on lots and lots of different levels with lots of different people anyway. I can see that it could be helpful for someone who is normally very emotionally closed down. Perhaps.

[bigglesworth]

I agree when we have experienced loss, it is very traumatic and no one knows how you you process or feel that loss. It is a grieving time, for we are....grieving the loss of a love. However, with that being said how can we know joy unless we experience sadness. All of these life lessons tend to make us stronger and more compassionate to the next person.

[vita]

Originally Posted by lunamor

Well, maybe... it's certainly possible to empathize with others, but I don't think we can really understand the depth and intensity of pain if we've never suffered pain ourselves.

Everyone's suffered pain through separation and loss. Indeed, there's Bowlby's attachment theory which suggests we all suffer the pain of loss and separation from childhood onwards.

Attachment theory - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

I think it's a little bit glib to attribute deep feelings only to "heartbreak". Of course, it hurts a great deal but there are other far more traumatic experiences humans can have. By comparison, "heartbreak" is really quite a trivial thing to being in such a traumatic situation where you don't know whether you'll live or die - those type of experiences can have a far more deep-seated impact on us as people.

I don't think "heartbreak" always, or even usually, brings out positive qualities in people. Many people become bitter, angry, resentful and mistrusting as a result of it..whether they *should* or not is another question. We're all less than perfect.

As I say, I think this is someone trying to make us feel better about something that's not very nice but happens to most, if not all, of us. No harm in trying, i guess

[bigglesworth]

Originally Posted by lunamor

] I don't think we can really understand the depth and intensity of pain if we've never suffered pain ourselves.

You know I think this has to do with as lot of experiences in our life as well as a broken heart. Unless we walk in an others shoes, we cannot know how they feel. Well said Luna.

[darkly1]

Lovely thought, but difficult for me to wrap my brain around the concept. Or it could be that my broken heart is too fresh. When reading that I thought of the relationship with my ex husband, where we not only broke each others' hearts, but also grounded it into a fine powder.

That disastrous relationship left me emotionally battered and extremely insecure with myself. I wouldn't say I am angry or bitter by any means, but I definitely have a low opinion of myself. The ex basically told me I was an evil person, and because I was the one leaving the relationship I let him convince me of it. I took his abuse because I felt I deserved it for wanting out of what was actually not that bad of a marriage (just that I was not in love with him and we were not having sex).

Anyway, my SO has helped me to realize I am NOT an evil person, but at this point in my life it is difficult for me to "celebrate" my broken heart. Like I said I am not angry or bitter, just still a little shattered... so it is hard for me to see the positive during the darkest time of my life.

[bigglesworth]

darkly1 I am so sorry that your broken heart is so fresh and I am so sorry that you feel the way you do. I know what it is like to have someone make you feel you are not a good person, unfortunately my dad made me feel that way, thus the failed relationships with men ever since, I have learned, however, in recent times that it was HIS insecurities that prompted him to say the things he did about me, not me as a person. It takes a while to come out of any relationship and be able to stand tall, and perhaps one day you will see the pearls of wisdom in your broken heart that you have now.

[8ball]

I think this sums up everything I would say. haha

Sex Pistols - No Feelings

[vita]

Dear old William - he knew how to say things poignantly sometimes didn't he?

Yes very apt.