Can long distance relationship work

[westcougar]

Cool story, houstoncougar. I've often thought I should write a memoir, but the thought of my children reading it puts me off!

[violet]

Originally Posted by houstoncougar

I was wearing fishnets a black mini skirt and a neon Sex Pistols tshirt and had hot pink and magenta spiked hair.

*jealous* I never could pull off the punk look, no matter how hard I tried. I always looked too wholesome and innocent. I did date a radio dj during that time so I could at least feel somewhat cool. I was very happy when the grunge look came along in the mid 80s...that was a look that came naturally to me - unhip thrift store clothes and messy hair

[valerie]

***SIGH*** <~~~ First response as I'm thinking about my guy in Wales. He is someone I thought I'd never meet and certainly couldn't exist....someone who gets me. Someone who loves everything about me that I've apologized for in the past. Someone who leaves me offline messages or email. Someone who inspired me to run to my cell phone provider to add international calling. We are pretty obsessed with each other, and I think that's what you need to make it work. And then there's that big word called FAITH. Yes, I think it can work.

[romandog]

Oh it can work. however, I have noticed that it works better if at some point the two people have seen each other. Still I believe people can make anything work if they can put their mind to it. The power of a human is astounding.

[lunamor]

Originally Posted by romandog

I have noticed that it works better if at some point the two people have seen each other.

I'll say this from experience: if it's clicking really well, it's best to meet reasonably quickly, or just decide to keep it virtual forever. The longer it goes on as a virtual relationship, the harder it is to combat the halo effect (a perceptual bias where we assume that a person has many positive qualities if they have one positive quality).

[romandog]

Originally Posted by lunamor

I'll say this from experience: if it's clicking really well, it's best to meet reasonably quickly, or just decide to keep it virtual forever. The longer it goes on as a virtual relationship, the harder it is to combat the halo effect (a perceptual bias where we assume that a person has many positive qualities if they have one positive quality).

I think this is spot on. I've met people online before and talked to them for a good while, I thought I kind of liked them, then I met them in person and I didn't feel the connection that I thought I did. I then went on to force myself to feel that i felt them and I kind of ended up dragging them on. Luckily I ended it after we met again. I knew it wasn't right and I am glad we met when we did or else we might have been just talking for WAY TOO long.

[houstoncougar]

I have had more than a few of those kinds of relationships val and they were a real high while they were happening but they eventually went "nowhere" meaning neither party has ever gone anywhere to meet and a real relationship has to be based on a real life meeting or it's just pie in the sky.

[darkly1]

Originally Posted by valerie

***SIGH*** <~~~ First response as I'm thinking about my guy in Wales. He is someone I thought I'd never meet and certainly couldn't exist....someone who gets me. Someone who loves everything about me that I've apologized for in the past. Someone who leaves me offline messages or email. Someone who inspired me to run to my cell phone provider to add international calling. We are pretty obsessed with each other, and I think that's what you need to make it work. And then there's that big word called FAITH. Yes, I think it can work.

Valerie, I don't know how much you are paying, but I recall a thread in my LDR forum where some international LDRs were talking about good calling rates through some service. If you want I can look for the thread or ask one of them for you.

But keep your chin up. Do you two have any plans to meet?

And my boyfriend is coming in August. <3 We were going to skip this visit and wait until October due to finances, but his mother offered to pay for the trip as a birthday present for him.

And he is turning 21 finally. YEEEEESSSSS

[wetnwild]

Skype is one way to talk LD for free. I don't know a lot about it but I heard about it somewhere before my ex bf got deployed to Qatar. He downloaded it and was actually able to call my cellphone for free!! I had thought that it only worked from computer to computer so I was shocked that he was able to call my cell (from his computer)!

[violet]

I use skype all the time...free from computer to computer and very small charge to landlines and a something more to cell phones. I don't know how he was calling your cell for free, but wish I knew!