casual vs serious relationships

[violet]

Many of the cubs say they are not looking for a serious relationship. But what if you meet that special woman during one of your casual encounters who you just can't stop thinking about? And anyway, isn't every encounter casual until it becomes serious? It would be kind of silly to say "looking only for serious encounters"!

[djm1987]

I'm not particularly looking for a serious relationship, maybe I'm a little scarred by the last one, I don't know, but I just feel that at this point in my life I just want to experience new things and live a little more before I start getting serious with anybody.

I want to use my time to grow my business, develop my skills and meet new people. I don't think I'd be able to commit the time to anything serious. I guess if I did fall head over heels then it could become serious, I'm not discounting that it would happen. I'm just not setting out with the sole intention of a serious relationship.

D

[lynda]

D those are some excellent points. We all have our lives to live on a daily basis with jobs, friends, and such. Just finding a nice date is a real job but if you do then friendship first and if it moved on to bigger and best things then all the better.

[wetnwild]

So I am wondering how many of you cubs on here could honestly see yourselves being in a serious LTR with an older woman? I would like to hear from as many of you guys as possible. Why or why not? Just be honest, we cougars REALLY want to know, trust me, bc this is something we talk about frequently amongst ourselves.

[djm1987]

I guess I wouldn't rule out the possibility. But I'm not sure I could be in a commited relationship at this stage of my life with anybody regardless of age. I couldn't spare the time to commit so it wouldn't be fair.

Maybe in the long run when I've reached my late 20's/early 30's and gotten myself more together I'd be ready for a serious relationship. I guess one of my major concerns (and I really hope I don't offend anybody here) is that I want kids.

[lynda]

No offense taken Dave because this is one of the main reasons cougars and cubs have problems with longterm is some of the cubs do want children. Some of the younger cougars have had children with their younger men but most of us are done with that. WW, I too would be interested in what the cubs have to say about a serious LTR.

[violet]

Me too, in fact to me "serious" means "long-term", so this definitely fits in this thread.

[valerie]

I really like this thread Violet....it's scary, but needs to be addressed. I am "in like" with a guy sooooo far away in age it's almost scandalous even to me! I mean, I always said I never dated or married anyone my same age or older since I was 16, but to say the age gap keeps getting wider is an understatement. So...I could worry about the day he is longing for children and I can't give that to him....OR, I could just enjoy his love every day I have him. I think I'll opt for the latter, because one of us might get hit by a bus tomorrow and you never know...maybe the stars will bring us together next time around in a more timely fashion. It's all a cr*p shoot, so I say never refuse joy when it comes knocking at your door. That didn't exactly answer your first question, did it? Well I tend to agree....how does one determine when is the right time or the right person to fall in love with? You just chat, email, eventually meet and if he kisses good and you laugh together, you might see him again. Who knows where that will go? There is no such thing as a "casual encounter". ;-)

Whether a casual or serious relationship depends a lot on the physical and mental disposition of the parties involved. No one can put a lid on love.

[gypsyred]

But people can put a lid on love...all the time. I have a young man whom I adore...he limits himself all the time. And in the past, I have too. I did it for 12 years. Out of fear. Nothing like fear to destroy what could be.