Bitterness As Mental Illness?

[lunamor]

Bitterness affects existing relationships as well as the search for new ones: for example, who hasn't felt bitter towards the opposite sex after a string of bad online/offline dating experiences, or a bad breakup? Bitter is defined as hostile, nasty, acrimonious, antagonistic, begrudging, biting, hateful, rancorous, resentful, sore, sour, stinging, sullen, virulent, vitriolic, with chip on shoulder.

Biblically, it is symbolic of affliction, misery, and servitude (Ex. 1:14; Ruth 1:20; Jer. 9:15). It's also a common musical theme, like this excerpt from Annie Lennox's "Bitter Pill":

Bitter pill to swallow
How can I abide
The taste of rage and anger
Burnin' me inside?
How the hell
Will it ever change?
Slowly drivin' me insane
Let me cover up this pain
Yes... bitter

Last year, some psychiatrists even proposed identifying it as a mental illness under the name "post-traumatic embitterment disorder". Here is an excerpt from a very interesting article on the subject in the Los Angeles Times, "Bitterness As Mental Illness?"

Embittered people are left seething for revenge. "They feel the world has treated them unfairly. It's one step more complex than anger. They're angry plus helpless," says Dr. Michael Linden, a German psychiatrist who named the behavior.

Embittered people are typically good people who have worked hard at something important [...] When something unexpectedly awful happens [...] a profound sense of injustice overtakes them [...] they cannot let go of the feeling of being victimized. Almost immediately after the traumatic event, they become angry, pessimistic, aggressive, hopeless haters [...] psychiatrists at the meeting agreed that much more research is needed on identifying and helping these people, [who] "usually don't come to treatment because 'the world has to change, not me,'" Linden says. "They are almost treatment resistant. . . . Revenge is not a treatment."

Nevertheless, Linden suggests that people once known as loving, normal individuals who suddenly snap and kill their family and themselves may have post-traumatic embitterment syndrome. That's reason enough for researchers to study how to treat the destructive emotion of bitterness.

Obviously, it's nothing to take lightly. Is bitterness affecting you?

-You're not as happy in general
-You're no fun to be around in general
-You see what you want to see and hold certain groups to higher standards than others
-You unconsciously cause people to act exactly how you expect them to
-You develop an US vs. THEM mentality
-You avoid good things because of the unpleasant associations they bring up
-You see changing yourself as selling out and 'letting them win'
-You stay in a rut, but think it's your noble destiny to be there
-The target of your bitterness can sometimes act as a scapegoat for other problems in your life. You're really unhappy about other things, but for some reason your mind wants to blame it all on [something/someone else]

[8ball]

Honestly, I can be bitter. I don't hold it against everyone though, just the person that screwed me over...

[vita]

There's a difference between "bitterness" and "anger". I'm a fan of anger. Anger makes me strong and protect myself. I believe I target that anger accurately in the right direction. "Bitterness" suggests harbouring negative feelings unjustly. That's more harmful to the individual. I don't see my actions as being borne from bitterness, they're rooted in logic and sensible decisions for myself. If one thing doesn't work, I'll try something else until it works. Being in a relationship isn't the "be all and end all" in life. Life is for fun and enjoyment and there's lots of fulfilling things to do in it without being bitter about what hasn't worked out. Being wary or angry about bad behaviour is a sensible and logical reaction to something which needs that kind of reaction. Otherwise, we'd end up accepting the unacceptable.

[lynda]

What a wonderful thread! I enjoyed reading it and makes so much sense. I think we all have been bitter at some point in life but the key is to let it go. I can see how if you don't it will eat away at you. I do get angry at times and like Vita and 8ball direct it to the person that caused it. For me if someone has made me angry and it has an opportunity to stew in my head I find a way of closer. I usually tell that person how I was feeling and move on perhaps that person is still in my life and perhaps not. Vita, so true about making you a stronger person and I feel it makes us a better person. The key is let it go and if you can not do that then perhaps professional help.....

[4020]

I just did a bunch of studying and learning on anger and bitterness. Resolve anger, yes it is quite okay to be angry. However to withdraw and hold it in not address it will lead to bitterness and eventually clinical depression.

It kinda stair steps its way down a bad path.

[lunamor]

Vita, I agree with everything you said about the differences between bitterness and anger.

[ronnybaby]

Everyone on this forum messes everything up, its me versus all of you...

I feel so hostile, nasty, acrimonious, antagonistic, begrudging, biting, hateful, rancorous, resentful, sore, sour, stinging, sullen, virulent, vitriolic, with chip on shoulder...

I'm not gonna change!

[houstoncougar]

ur so silly!

[valerie]

ronnybaby....you seriously rock! LOL

[lynda]

ronny is yummy.....