Why Guys Dump Girls They Dig

[hottub]

Originally Posted by lunamor

Oh hottub, if it really takes your heart, it's always a serious relationship.

Yes, I know. I couldn't think of a better word. A relationship clearly goes to "the next level" when kids, marriage and house-buying comes into discussion, and I was just trying to point out that I haven't been in that situation.

[houstoncougar]

that article before and one very similar on eharmony it's sad but true. I recently felt myself being pulled into that what's wrong with me, what did I do thinking and after having a good cry and kicking myself in the ass I am back in the right place... in my head I mean.

[gypsyred]

Well, the article that I mentioned above did say that men have been known to end relationships with women they were into because they were too into them...and afraid of getting dumped, and therefore hurt.

I didn't mean to say that we as women are to blame for relationship breakups because we somehow drove him to it... Hell, it takes two to tango... and nobody is perfect.

[lynda]

Luna, thank you for posting this thread it was so interesting. You know so many times us ladies blame ourselves and wonder what is wrong with us. Houston, girlfriend, I have done the very same knowing that it was not my fault but feeling that perhaps if I had done something different it would have made a difference. I also try to read as much as possible about relationships but this one really answered some questions.

[lunamor]

Lynda, in fact I've seen many articles about breakups and they're usually the same old thing.

I found this one interesting because it was written from a man's point of view, and it offered reasons that are usually never discussed, and certainly never even considered by most women ('cuz we're too busy beating ourselves up, dontcha know )

The first time I read this article, it was like, "Sheesh, who knew?"

[mizbehavin]

I agree, luna. After you get dumped it's a little late to ask why, and really we can't. We just blame ourselves..something we did, something we didn't do...but we never know for sure.

[lunamor]

To get over being dumped, it took me almost as long as the relationship itself lasted (not quite 2 years!), but I finally got over it when I realized and just accepted that he didn't want to be with me, and that was that - the reason really didn't matter, it made no difference because it was out of my control.

[mizbehavin]

You're stronger than I am, Luna

[lunamor]

Well, thanks, miz but believe me it was freakin' hard - and a real turning point in my life!

[toophan_agha]

you know i think that may be right. I mean sometimes i feel like that. Not that i have cheated on anyone before, its allways ended up being me who gets cheated on :P... I dont think a man thinks like that for his first love. I think its after being kicked arround by other gurls that the man then looses trust in giving his total love to one individual. i know because ive been there, i thought the answer would be to get more than one gurl, but i realised i would only hurt them all in order to satisfy myself i wouldnt be left with no one to love.
the first girl i opened up to, and she helped me out with my life, and made a big difference to me after a year or so of knowing each other I in a way knew i was in love with her. I had never felt anything similar to this before in my life, there was happiness, love which was making me go mad, and i told her that i wanted to give her my whole life my whole heart. But eventhough i opened up to her. (one of the first times i ever opened up to anyone) and gave her everything i could, and by this i dont mean only materialistic things. I found myself beaing cheated on.
When after 2 years i met a new girl, at first i jus enjoyed spending time with her then it slowly grew to us spending nearly every day together for no reason, and things progressd on. and i felt that same feeling again but when i felt it this time it worried me, and i felt really awkward that i was going to dive back into that same thing that messed up my life before.
making a long story SHORTER (lol i know i wrote quite alot :P ) i dint hurt her as of yet, but went out with 5 different girls at the same time as her for week or so, i told her afterwards and told her exactly why and what was going through my mind. i was expecting her to leave as well. she jus gave me a hug and said that she was happy i chose her over everyone else, and that she has no option but to stay with me because she loves me like shes loved no other.
I am not going to say that its the mans fault or the womans but a shared responsibility and i guess its just a part of life.
I wish u all the best of luck in finding ure true loves xx