My crush on a lady at work...

[rooinek]

Hello! I'm a new member here and my only other post has been in the introductory section. Incase anyone missed it, I mainly just said that I didn't know much about women, have come here to learn and mentioned that I am hopelessly attracted to a sophisticated and mature lady.

Oh, there is so much to write and I want to do this justice, where to start?

I guess I'll take it from the top, I was hired at the airport about 8 months ago. I took well to the physical labor and revel in the small bit of real exercise it provides. After a couple weeks I had completely adapted to the night shift and all was normal.

Then, before the first month was out our group was introduced to some more new hires (Management has to constantly hire new employees to keep the ranks healthy since so many quit within the first few weeks.) and there she was...

"Well...thats interesting." I thought. "A pretty face, in this place? I wonder how she will deal with this stuff...poor thing."

Of course she immediately had the eye of just about every other man on our line. They would constantly compliment and flirt with her. I'll be honest, it made me sick, that is probably too strong of a word but it is close I feel. I began to view her and many of the men with disdain all though I don't think I ever really showed it to any of them.

My family had recently moved to Memphis (I am also very new to big cities) at this time so I didn't have much for social outlets then and unfortunately it began to reflect in my life, work was really all I had at the time. Whenever I perceived someone to be slacking off anger and insecurity would bubble up inside me but like I said, I kept it to myself for the most part.

So, time passed on, we would occasionally exchange glances and a few words but I would not really stop for a conversation, not that I would know what to say anyway .

Over time I did learn she was a single divorced mother of two boys (twins), loves music, is a mean salsa dancer, a hard worker and much more.

(Some time in there I also found a nice martial arts club to start training at again, this has done miracles for my confidence I believe.)

As more time went by I found myself smiling at and looking in her direction all the more. I began to realize I was attracted to her, the woman who I had thought would quit after just a few days had instead proven me dead wrong. Little by little, a bit more with each passing day, like a pebble that starts a rock slide my admiration for her has grown.

A while ago I told her how wonderful I think it is of her that she works hard, supports her family and still finds time for her children. I can imagine things can really get hard for her. That was a couple months ago.

Recently I've dealt with my inner anger altogether (It actually went a lot deeper than the small things at work.), I feel elated about that and have also started attending a local Church again.

For a while things continued.

At the end of this previous work week, I felt convicted, I had complimented this woman on how dedicated she was but they were only words. I told her about my convictions and asked if there was anything I could do to make a difference, to help.

She said it was very kind and that she didn't get that question a lot but that the stuggles were just the struggles and she would appreciate it if I prayed for them.

Hhh...I'm not sure how I feel about that but if anything I'm glad I asked her if I could help, it certainly got rid of the heart ache and at least she knows my heart goes out to her in that respect. Over all I think it made a good impression.

Before I go on, I would like to make something very clear. I was brought up being taught to be polite and to always be a gentleman. Admittedly, I did forget that for a little while but please believe me in that I am being genuine with her. Even though I am attracted to this woman, I would never try to use her position as a single mother or her children for that matter as leverage just to get myself off.

Honestly, I love children(how can anyone look at their faces and not? ). Ultimately, my goal is a long term relationship.

Well, I've poured my heart into this and if nothing else writing this has been very therapeutic ha ha. Anyway, I'm going to grab dinner, I'll probably post some more later but for now I would appreciate any help I can get, thoughts? Comments? Like I said, having never been in a love relationship, I hardly know anything about women that I haven't learned here in the past couple days any more information or articles would be much appreciated. So, there is most of my story minus a few things including plans please, I'd be grateful to anyone willing to dissect this and if need be tear it up so I can rebuild it.

All the best,


-Phillip

[houstoncougar]

I have a couple of questions before I can really answer this without jumping to conclusions ok?
1. Do you happen to know how much older than you she is?
2. Have you ever had a serious girlfriend?
3. Do you have any social contact with any other females?
4. Is your interest in older women something you have had for awhile?
5. Is it a fantasy sexual interest or something you feel is deeper?
Thanks in advance for answering.

[rooinek]

Originally Posted by houstoncougar

I have a couple of questions before I can really answer this without jumping to conclusions ok?
1. Do you happen to know how much older than you she is?
2. Have you ever had a serious girlfriend?
3. Do you have any social contact with any other females?
4. Is your interest in older women something you have had for awhile?
5. Is it a fantasy sexual interest or something you feel is deeper?
Thanks in advance for answering.

1. 9 Years older, 21 and 30.

2. No, I have not.

3. Yes, the martial arts club I mentioned and church as well. Church is probably the more social of the two and as mentioned, even the martial arts training is still a rather recent developement, I'll be starting college soon again as well.

4. I don't think its an interest in older women per se as much as it is keeping an open mind on my end.

5. While I won't deny, I have my fantasies about her, I do feel something that goes deeper and I don't think it is pity. She has shown that she is more than capable of standing on her own and certainly doesn't need me, not that I wouldn't mind helping anyway.

Thanks again for working with me HoustonCougar, its time for me to prepare for work now.

[rooinek]

Well, its been a few days and I think those questions raise some very valid points in addition to some others that have surfaced this week.

I have been sort of isolated for a while and that kind of thing isn't healthy. Also, being a workaholic sucks so I think I am done with that , the stress just isn't worth the twinkle in the bosses eye, he's not that hot (joking of course, I'm not gay ).

In general this week has been going by fairly well, full of soul searching and sorting out the garbage.

At this point I think I'm just going to relax for a while and if nothing else, cultivate a friendship with this lovely lady.

[lunamor]

Sounds very smart to me

[houstoncougar]

think you have done a very good job of working this out yourself so far.

[rooinek]

My thanks for both of ya, especially you, Houston, thanks for helping me sort myself out.

[wildblue]

I have this vibe that houstoncougar is one hot woman who would be fun to drink with.

[rooinek]

Originally Posted by wildblue

I have this vibe that houstoncougar is one hot woman who would be fun to drink with.

He he, I'm inclined to agree.

[houstoncougar]

I have been known to be quite a bit of fun especially after a martini or two. Of course there's a joke about martinis being like breasts... one isn't enough, two is just right and three is one to many.