any advice?

[nicoretteaddict]

I've been in contact with my ex for the last few weeks. We've been sort of dancing around the issue of a reconciliation. She's been emotionally non-responsive at times and, tonight, I confronted her and she told me that it was because she was scared things weren't going to work out, that she loved me, but that she didn't want any further contact because I deserved better.

If I had to guess, I'd say this happened because she tends to run from any sort of conflict and that I'll probably hear from her again in the next month or two. But I could be wrong. I don't know that anyone ever made me as happy as she did. I actually thought about marrying her. But she has the emotional maturity of a high school student when it comes to some things. It's aggravating, having been that happy, that in love, and thinking you can get back there with the same person, knowing that the two of you still love each other but, somehow, you can't quite connect anymore.

[wetnwild]

I don't have any advice for you, just wanted to say that I'm sorry to hear that you're going through this. I do know what its like to be so in love with someone and so happy and then.....and have them be non-responsive and run away from any sort of conflict as well.

Been there, done that, got the da*n t-shirt and trying to get loose of the freakin t-shirt already!

[lunamor]

It IS frustrating.
On a side note, I'm always leery of that expression "you deserve better", it's usually used to shove someone away in a "nice" (wtf?) way (that is, to avoid a scene).

[nicoretteaddict]

lunamor -- that was my first thought too. and it could be the case. but then she and I had a conversation early into things about how she literally leaves the room when we get into an argument and I run after her, and what would happen when I didn't run after her anymore? maybe that's what's happened.

wetnwild -- thanks, you made me laugh. I didn't think I could laugh about this. this is my first experience with love not being enough to make things work between two people. it doesn't really hurt because I love her and, perhaps stupidly, believe her when she says she loves me. or maybe I'm lying to myself when I think that I've decided it's not worth the effort. maybe the truth is that it's not a matter of how much effort I put in, that it just won't work. that thought does hurt.

[wildblue]

It's probably not what you want to hear, but this does not sound good. This girl has some commitment/intimacy issues that aren't going to just go away. As painful as it may be to walk away now it's less painful than letting this drag on. You're young, single, no kids, financial independent etc.... There's something better out there for you.