Exorcising the ageist in me!

[beaw]

Hi everyone.

The replies to my intro-post a couple of weeks ago were all very enlightening giving me a revealing peep (?) into the sublime ethos of cougarism. My second post drew the ire of many a cougar although they were all so forgiving, handling my naivety with characteristic cougar maturity!

In the replies to this second post, I was further educated and discovered to my chagrin that I was unconsciously and shamefully an ageist!

I made up my mind to change and I said as much in one of my replies. I’m glad to tell y’all that I had a hilarious experience over the last two weeks which has practically exorcised any pesky ageist demon still lurking around in my subconscious!

I met a gracefully elegant cougar in a library and we hit it off instantly. She’s an exciting lady, fortyish with a lot of vim and vigor. We got talking and I got to know that she was single with two kids, a boy and a girl. I’m separated with a daughter. After a series of meetings, she invited me for a birthday party which would give me a chance to know her place and become more intimate.

You can imagine my shock when I got to her place and found that she was celebrating her sixtieth birthday! Her ‘kids’ were married and had daughters much older than my three-year old girl!

I expressed my surprise a few days later. She laughed and gave me a mischievous wink. She then revealed that her son was thirty five, while her daughter was thirty two. I just turned thirty, so both her kids were older than me!

Believe me; she had the look and disposition of someone in her late thirties!

Really, age is in the mind.

I remember the woman of Arno in Daphne Du Maurier’s classic “My Cousin Rachel”. She must have been in her twenties but she was so encumbered with worry and regrets that she would easily pass for an old woman.

So guys, I’m absolutely and irreversibly done with ageism. I definitely joined GoCougar at a most opportune time for me.

Thanks y’all! You guys are da bomb!

[lunamor]

beaw, that's a really cool story (well-written, too ), thanks for sharing it. I enjoyed it a lot!

[houstoncougar]

enjoyed reading your story but, I'm going to bet my last dollar that your 60 year old elegant cougar has had some work done. There is no way a 60 year old woman could pass for 40 with out it. I looked like a 12 year old boy until I was at least 30 years old because I have great bone structure but, those little wrinkles can not be stopped without fillers, botox or some work. I haven't had any face work done yet and I am starting to notice the jowl thing going on which is just a normal part of aging and I refuse to spend a couple of thousand dollars to temporarily "fix" aging. Don't get me wrong I am all for plastic surgery and have had some done for medical reasons and by choice. I will probably invest in a mini face lift when I do decide to do so but, to me it's mostly attitude not looks that define a woman.

[lunamor]

Of course, nobody wants to look old, and most want to look young, or at least younger (which raises the question, just exactly what is a specific age SUPPOSED to look like?).

Anyway, to be considered a good version of your real age without fillers, botox, plastic surgery, etc is becoming almost impossible.

Although in principle I'm not against plastic surgery (if it doesn't mean an immobile face, eyes stretched towards the ears, impossible breasts and overblown lips), it IS disturbing that the new definition of mature beauty practically requires unnatural intervention.

[houstoncougar]

you're right about that one those overblown lips slay me! I laugh my butt off every time I see someone with those collagen injected lips. Have you seen Meg Ryan's lately? You can't even see a shape they just look like blow fishes when they do that. You're right about what the mature woman is expected to look like too, women like Courtney Cox and Demi Moore have endless amounts of money to have themselves well, lets say updated. lol Those are the mature women that young guys expect to compare us to. I expect everyone to want to look their best and I know what looks good on me and what works which is one reason why I wear my hair as short as I do. It looks awesome on me and long hair looks bad, really bad on me. If a man doesn't like my hair or my looks they are the ones who have a problem, not me, and they can just move on to someone else.

[danceroho]

but it can be a useful tool. There are always exceptions to every rule, but generally I find that people age 18-22 are in a different world (college) than those who have been out of school and working for a couple of years. Those who have reared children often tend to be more responsible (since they have taken on that awesome responsibility). [Note: Of course, I'm talking about the ones who actually do the "work" of caring for kids - taking care of their needs, imposing a reasonable amount of discipline, loving them unconditionally, just to mention the tip of that iceberg. Just to be clear, I believe you can work full time and do all of the above quite nicely.]

I don't believe it is being ageist to use a person's age as a preliminary gauge of the likelihood that they will be compatible with you. Just keep an open mind and give them a chance to show their maturity level. Having said that, in the two weeks I've been on the main site, I have only encountered one male under 30 who didn't make me think "EEEUUUUUUWWWWW" within 3 messages. So I may end up not even bothering with that age bracket, too.

[beaw]

enjoyed reading your story but, I'm going to bet my last dollar that your 60 year old elegant cougar has had some work done.

Hey HC! I guess you're right. Some work and lots of aerobics. She and her kids are kinda workout and health freaks. I guess she infected them.

But what really gets me is beyond physical. Recall I mentioned vim and vigor. It's more of a carefree, happy-go-lucky, and childlike disposition to life. I feel that possibly enhances all the surgery and exercises, who knows. You just feel good being around her.

. . . in the two weeks I've been on the main site, I have only encountered one male under 30 who didn't make me think "EEEUUUUUUWWWWW" within 3 messages. So I may end up not even bothering with that age bracket, too.

Hi Danceroho. As I said in my story, I just turned 30 on the 16th of June so I'm on the borderline . I hope I still qualify!

[lunamor]

"vim and vigor...carefree, happy-go-lucky, and childlike disposition to life...You just feel good being around her."

Yes, energy, maturity and a cheerful disposition are attractive at any age (even under 30 or over 50 eheheh).

People turn me off when they're negative, sluggish and have no interest or curiosity towards life.

At any age.

[houstoncougar]

like I said above...to me it's mostly attitude not looks that define a woman

[houstoncougar]

like I said above...to me it's mostly attitude not looks that define a woman