The Dynamics of Cougar/Cub relationships

[lunamor]

Ok we'll wait until you've recovered - but when you're ready, please TELL!!!

[ohioguy216]

regarding the original post:

I first came to this site a year ago when I was single... I had dated older women most of my life and while I done rule out anyone my age or younger... my preference is to older.

The site was a novelty and seemed VERY focused to what I wanted. The down side is that there are not that many female members here, quite honestly.

This site exists as a FREE site and the owners generate revenue with a modest member ship fee that allows you to send more emails and have more pictures. *whoop dee doo*.
The other place this site generates revenue is by selling advertising space. There are ads all over here for seemingly competitive (pay only) sites like AgeMatch.com .

There are other regular dating sites that do the same thing. Plentyoffish.com is free but has ads all over it for match.com yahoo.com and the like. I am in the advertising/marketing industry and depending on the traffic, these ads sell for between $500 and $4000 per month or on a per click basis.
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My personal recommendation if you're a guy looking for an older woman or a woman looking for a cub, would be to go to match.com or yahoo.com and shell out the $29.95 for a month and just write guys who look interesting. So what if they are 10 or 15 years younger. Most men like older women.

The women I have met were not from age-gap type sites but from regular ones like the above mentioned. On this site there is (1) ONE woman from my local area and she has not logged on here in months.

Sure this place is fun for banter, exchange of ideas, and pure entertainment.... .and once in a while I'll meet someone really interesting who has some things in common... but the reality is that it's a plane flight to meet for a cup of coffee. While I have not problem spending 300 for a flight, especially if it's to a city I have never been to (I love mini vacations)... there should be something special there for me to do that.

And something even more special to consider relocating....

Sorry for being verbose... but the point is ... .look for what you want in unexpected places... Book stores, the produce department, regular dating sites, etc....

Best luck to all.

[houstoncougar]

I signed up for a inexpensive trial on eharmony and wanted to choke someone since all they do is tell you to change your age range to your own age range so that they can match you with same age men. It drove me nuts that you couldn't really search for men they had to match you up. I have been on agematch, dateacougar, pof, down to earth omg the list goes on and on but, I have found pof to be the best for actually meeting people in real life. Sadly they are usually just looking for the "cougar experience" though. I will find the person I am looking for when he walks into my life at just the right time and the one after him too if need be. I am a true believer in the "people come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime" adage and darn it I'm going to be ready!

[startpoint]

Dear Houstoncougar,
I can well understand your frustration as I myself have experienced dating sites trying to match me with someone in my own age group. Some people lack imagination! I do hope that you do find someone who loves you for who you are not for some selfisn expereince.

[houstoncougar]

thank you startpoint that made my day. I hope you find what you are looking for too.

[saoirse]

Originally Posted by houstoncougar

I signed up for a inexpensive trial on eharmony and wanted to choke someone since all they do is tell you to change your age range to your own age range so that they can match you with same age men. It drove me nuts that you couldn't really search for men they had to match you up. I have been on agematch, dateacougar, pof, down to earth omg the list goes on and on but, I have found pof to be the best for actually meeting people in real life. Sadly they are usually just looking for the "cougar experience" though. I will find the person I am looking for when he walks into my life at just the right time and the one after him too if need be. I am a true believer in the "people come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime" adage and darn it I'm going to be ready!

i briefly tried eharmony a few years ago and i was matched with men aged 49, 50 and 55. i tried pof too, went on three dates - two lied about their ages and one lied about his marital status - profile said "divorced" but told me in person he was "separated".

[princebybirth]

I just read this and felt the need to comment... yea I know the post is almost a month old... anyway. My first experience with an older woman she was a few years older and wanted another child... needless to say that didn't last. We're great friends still, and now she and her current bf are expecting, and she isn't happy with their relationship (could've told ya that would happen... oh wait I did). My first experience with a real cougar though, she was going through some hard times, her grandfather was very sick and I think she wanted a man who could be there.... I could have possibly been that man but she wasn't open and communicative of her needs so I ended up being nothing more than a friend with benefits. When we would have dinner together our conversations would get deep and we enjoyed one another's company but she ended up upset that I couldn't be what she was looking for (at least I think that was the problem), I really don't know. At one point she just said I don't want to speak with you anymore and that was that...

Point in the story, cubs may start out looking for fun (originally that was what I wanted anyway), but if you stick with us and help create a connection then we'll end up in it for the long haul.

[lunamor]

cubs may start out looking for fun (originally that was what I wanted anyway), but if you stick with us and help create a connection then we'll end up in it for the long haul.

Yeh, that can happen, and it's great when it does.

[houstoncougar]

yes it is great when it does happen. It has happened to me a couple of times over the last five or so years and I still to this day talk to both men on a regular basis...

[daveyjones]

My best relationships have been with women older than me. I dated someone of 34 when I was 20 and although it lasted a few months before it ended, we both kind of agreed if I'd been older the mental age gap wouldn't have been so wide. We're still friends but perhaps if I was 25 and she was 39 it would've worked better.
My last relationship was with a woman 13 years older than me, which ended last year. We were well matched in most conversations we entered into, the physical attraction was high, yes the sex was fantastic but the whole relationship worked on many dynamics. It ended through some silly arguments but I'd definitely say as a man I treat my partners with respect and have always acted 'on a level' despite any age difference.

I have only met 1 person in the past through a site which was on gumtree but as a website, their relationship section seemed to be over run by sex ads masquerading as people. I hope people find this site works; it seems specific but to agree with a previous comment, most websites, regardless of which one has more men than women on it, so ladies perhaps this means there's more choice out there for you :-)