Now what do I do?

[cougar1970]

I work in the Restaurant biz and recently have become attracted to man who is 15 years younger than myself. I feel that he is very attracted to me when we work together.
Earlier this evening I finally built up the courage to ask him out, asking him what he was doing after work, but he seemed to get really nervous and he said that he was driving a friend to the airport. So, I didnt officially ask him out.
I think he has sensed my attraction for a while now and he seems to want to get closer. He talks to me more and he is not afraid to get physically closer. But, I'm beginning to wonder now if he's just one of these guys who likes the chase and the excitement but once he knows the woman is interested he backs off.
Should I just forget about him?

[knilja]

I understand your predicament. What I've found with younger guys is they either are very nervous and intimidated and waiting for you to make the first move or is not interested. If you're brave and able to risk rejection...go ahead and make it a little easier for him. Maybe ask him to go on a break with you make him comfortable with you then ask him if you can kiss him...or tell him you want to. One other thing...a couple of times guys have felt so over whelmed they get very attached and what is actually lust is to them love. be gentle and thoughtful.

[desertfish]

You tried it the subtle way but didn’t get anywhere, so I’d turn it up a notch. Just ask him out on date and see how he replies/reacts.

I could be totally wrong about this, but the way you’re describing him, it doesn’t seem like he is your typical person who only likes the chase. I mean, as far as I understand your story, he’s trying to get closer to you after he sensed you were interested in him. Maybe he’s insecure, maybe he’s afraid to mess things up and want you to take the lead… could be anything. How old is he btw?

P.S. If you need further advise with this one, I would suggest you stick to one thread. You’ll make it a lot easier for anyone who wants to chip in with idea’s and advise as they’ll be able to scroll back and get a sense of what happened already. The more info people have, the better advise they can provide.

Now go get him tiger… Keep us posted on what happens. We’ll keep our fingers, toes and dreadlocks crossed for you…

[cougar1970]

Thank you for your help and advice, I will keep you posted. He is 25(very intelligent and wise beyond his years), he was raised by a single mom(part of the allure for me). and I'm 38.
Will keep you all posted!

Thanks
L.

[eslam]

Originally Posted by knilja

I understand your predicament. What I've found with younger guys is they either are very nervous and intimidated and waiting for you to make the first move or is not interested. If you're brave and able to risk rejection...go ahead and make it a little easier for him. Maybe ask him to go on a break with you make him comfortable with you then ask him if you can kiss him...or tell him you want to. One other thing...a couple of times guys have felt so over whelmed they get very attached and what is actually lust is to them love. be gentle and thoughtful.

whay let her to have the trial at least
she wil never lose
put her first steps may encurag her
and will tack his attention
only
try

[cougar1970]

Ok so I worked with him again this evening and we chatted things up again, we dont really get breaks where we work because there are only two of us on the floor so we cant take a break together.
He seems to be flirting A LOT! He does seem insecure: when he walks into the restaurant, he barely looks at me or even says hello, but then once we get talking I feel like I'm on a roller coaster !! I feel so comfortable with him it's awesome.....I havent felt this way in such a long time..He actually opened up to me about previous relationships and said that if there's no sexual chem then there's no point to a relationship.....I almost felt like in that moment he was trying to tell me something...I dont know..HE IS SO HOT!!
I havent made any move yet, but I sense that he feels what I'm feeling which is fine with me. It's only natural and he has stated to me before that he's dated older women.
I know that some men can be cruel (I work in the restaurant biz and I hear a lot of stuff) I just dont want him to think I'm a desperate old woman because I;m not desperate, I am a very independent person and always have been.....I just wish I could tell him how much I enjoy his company.
Thanks for listening.
Lori

[cougar1970]

Thanks Tarni
There is a local hangout nearby but we dont work together very often..things might change because one person is leaving at the end of the month. I'm just going to enjoy the ride and allow things to unfold naturally.....as I hope they will!!! I am supposed to see him today! He's such a sweetie....
THanks
Lori

[giants84]

Is there actually a person in this world that at least deep down isn't insecure?

[cougar1970]

Probably not!

[cougar1970]

Well, here's the latest:
He walked into work on Monday still drunk from the night before. He proceeds to tell me that he supposedly woke up in bed with a beautiful woman but doesnt remember anything about his sexual escapade and that he got away as quickly as he could.
He did sort of turn me off...just being very aggressive and insulting towards me. I looked at him at one point and asked "DO you have a problem with me?" His response "Dont flatter yourself." ...?????????????
I tried to be cool about the whole thing because of course I dont want him to know how I really feel about him (not yet). Basically it seemed like he was saying "Look I went out and had a good time without you."
I think I already know the answer to this one but thought I would share.....this is what I'm up against. I just hope that things dont get strange at work.,.I mean I havent even mentioned my feelings yet. I'm wondering that if I do...is this what Im going to have to put up with....a 25 year old man who throws tantrums when he doesnt get what he wants?
Peace
Lori