My 23 yr old boyfriend is being shunned by his friends for dating me...

[cynders]

I'm 42 years old and my boyfriend of 6 months is 23!
Ever since we have started dating his "so called" friends have been dropping like flies. They have pretty much all disowned him completely and have disrespected him by saying terrible things about me and I mean TERRIBLE!
They don't even know me and I am being completely judged solely on my age and it hurts me terribly inside to see his friends act this way. IMMATURE!!!
One even went so far as to return all his birthday gifts that my boyfriend had bought him a few months back and he completely ignores him and turns his back at him at work. I just don't get it and I know that this has to bother my boyfriend greatly inside and that hurts me so much. I know that he is not hanging out and partying with anymore like he used to, but OMG they say such awful things about me. I think that they believe that I am using him for sex and will dump him and break his heart.
(which definitely is not the case)
I am at loss...: (
please I would love to hear from both sexes on this topic,but especially from the younger guys!

It should not come as a surprise... 23 year olds, of either sex, tend to be immature. That's why I'm looking for older women, they tend to be *more* mature than people in their 20s. when I was 23 I dated a 53 year old, and you better believe I kept it from my friends, and definitely my family. I was in the military at the time and if one friend had found out about it, the "news" would have been all over the community within hours. This is entirely normal and should be expected, unfortunately. That is why these kinds of relationships, older woman younger man, should be kept more discrete if the young man is that young. This is one of the cruel ironies of life, that a man's "coolness factor" jumps way up if he's got a young hottie on his arm, but plummets hugely if he's seen with a woman 30 or 20 years his senior. Not that he should care, of course. I suppose the same is true among women... if a 50-something year old is seen by her friends with a 21 year old hot cabana boy, her friends will be jealous. On the other hand, if a 40-something year old woman is seen with an 80 year old man, her friends will first react "ewwwww" and then "oh he must be rich", or something similar.

[cynders]

Thank you for your imput! I may be 42 by age, but I am definitely a hottie and look very very young for my age. I still get carded all the time and every 23 yr old that has met me always thought that I was their age, even my current boyfriend thought I was 25 when he met me. I have been blessed with great genes! He doesn't want to keep me hidden because he loves to show his hot girlfriend off. My family and friends love him dearly and if his 42 yr old mother can accept me, then his friends needs to just grow up and get a life of their own because were not breaking up anytime soon I have a feeling! : )

I'm sure you look great, but obviously his friends know you're not in your 20s... what I was saying had nothing to do with looks. The looks isn't the issue. The age is. No matter how good a 40-something year old looks, she's still known to be 40-something. (Believe me, I tell all 40-year old women I encounter that they look like they're 25, to be nice and flattering, and they appreciate it, which is great! Even if it is not true, and they know it's not true, but it feels good to say). And for guys that age, it's still a significant issue. And you are right, 20-somethings *do* need to grow up... something they do as they age. In the meantime, they are simply immature young guys...

[chaos]

I've never come across such an adverse reaction to an age difference to be honest,
I certainly wouldn't let it stop me, and I hope your partner doesn't either, he doesn't want to be ruled by his friends.
I'd be tempted to think it's a good job he found out what they were like in good time.

I don't think you should be "discreet", the more of us out there the better and the less unusual it will be.

And I'm not sure it's strictly true, that most 23 year old's are immature, don't a lot of them fight on our behalf all over the world.

Chaos yes, many people of all ages are in the military... unfortunately it doesn't mean they are automatically mature. Military service does not guarantee maturity... I was 22 and immature as heck myself. Maturity, at least in the inter-relationship arena, comes from experience and going through relationships of one's own.

[limitlessfun]

Completely agreed. I was dating a 35 year old when I was but 18. Loved that woman to death.... my friends didn't care, and neither did I but I got input from people before that sometime hurt. It's a matter of who and how mature the people around you are.

count yourself lucky. i'm still trying to find an older more mature woman. The number one reason i'm not with someone my age is beacue they are inmature in both sex and relationship matters. So i say again be hapy that you are together.

[vegasgal999]

I recently ended a relationship with a 25 year old because he was just too scared of what his friends would think if they knew he was going out with a 40 year old woman (his own words). I should've seen the warning lights early on when all he wanted to do was to come over to my place. We never went on any dates. I thought that it was because he was just happy to sit at home watching TV.

The last straw was when he was supposed to come over and was running late. He texted me (and it was always text messages--never phone calls) that he was "still trying to come up with an excuse" to tell his roomates why he was going out. Really.

Sheesh.

[chaos]

Perhaps you misunderstood me david,
I didn't mean people going into the military "automatically" became mature, rather that being in it and forging all sorts of relationships, not just sexual ones would lead to maturity.

The military obviously have to be capable of having relationships that will stand the test of life or death situations.