My 23 yr old boyfriend is being shunned by his friends for dating me...

[jgapp]

Hmm, this sounds familiar, it happen with my group of friends. The good thing is that they are both getting married. It was a shock at first that, one of my friends is dating a 40 year old guy. We were like what's going on here, for the 1st year or so I think people thought he was trying to too hard to fit in the group because we were younger. But as time goes we start to accept it. They love each other and is all that matters now.
But the point I'm trying to make is that give it some time, people are just ignorant or just can't accept it at that age. Believe me it was weird for us friends, but gradually it will get better. I hope it turns out great for you.

[esoterio]

Your boyfriend's so-called "friends" are just a bunch of immature haters - plain and simple! If they can't accept his choices in how he chooses to live his life and whom he chooses to live it with then they should just go and f*ck themselves!
Those a**holes are just jealous that your boyfriend has better ways to occupy his time now. While they're all getting drunk, playing on the X-box he's playing with you and they can't get over it! It's like being in a barrel with a bunch of crabs - the others always pull down the one trying to make his way out.
Tell your boyfriend to drop those loosers and move on. They obviously aren't real friends anyway if they can't accept the choice your man made. The two of you can make new friends anywhere, I'm sure.

Happy Holidays and good luck!

[greg22]

I dunno what the deal is, ive dated older women before and my friends have no prob with me dating, they wish they was dating an older women. But thats my group of friends, alot of people in their 20s are immature. You should talk to your bf about it and see what he feels and go from there.

[brians81]

I would like to say to that. Then they aren't his true friends. If I was dating somebody no matter the age & my so called friends couldn't except that then screw them if he wants to be with you then he will be with you if he wants to be with them then he will go with them, & maybe we can see what's there..; )

You must be new to this baby. I'm 43 and have always dated guys 18-23. Their friends actually think it's cool. I'm sorry to hear that your situation is different. The guys generally have put me before their friends.

You have to call the shots. If his friends are avoiding him solely because he's dating an older woman, his friends are dorks. The boys are hip these days. They know what's up. If his friends are losers and superficial, are they really his "friends?"

[cynders]

JUST A QUICK UPDATE!


Last night my boyfriends BEST FRIEND of 15 yrs, called him up and apologized for all the mean and terrible things that he has said about me these last 6 months. Wow! simply amazing, that it took 6 months to come around! Hopefully with his best friend saying sorry maybe his other friends will follow suit! Hope is on the Horizon, i'm keeping my fingers crossed here.

[depaul]

Hi Cynders ,

Be optimistic,

Even if ur boyfriend is shunned by his friends, he is standing by u. U r very lucky to have such a youthful and supportive partner.

Have patience !!!! Do not be bogged down his friends reactions. If u & ur friends remain unperturbed, his friends will definitely comply, but that will take time, owing to their stereotypical & out-dated mentality.

[liberalguy]

I've dated older women, and my friends were nothing but supportive and were happy that I was able to have a strong connection with someone. He really just doesn't need friends like that..you are much better for him.

I've got an uncle who was married with a wife of his own age and she took all his money and the children. Then, he divorced her and has been living for over 15 years with a girl 25 years his junior and is very happy. One weight 2 measures here. When it's a man it's ok. So sorry about it Cinders. My brothers have always tease me for being oggled by younger guys so I understand your feelings. Women are always treated much more unfairly. I hope you both overcome the odds! Take care xxx

[cynders]

Well, I Just Thought That I Would Give A Quick Update Here.

We Have Now Been Together 9 Months And I Wish His Friends & Family Would Grow Up!
They Are Still Giving Him **** About Me, Still To This Day.
For Some Reason They Think That I Am Using Him,
Unbelievable!!!

The Positive Side To All Of This Is That He Has Made A New Friend Recently At Work That Is 22 And An Ex Marine (Who Is More Mature) And His New Friend Is Totally Cool With Me Being Older. So Maybe That Is The Key Here, He Just Needs To Acquire "New Friends" That Respect His Choices!!!

Thanks For All Of Your Responses!!! : )