Cougars with biological clock issues

[londoncalling]

I'm 39 years old and I'm currently hot for a man who's 11 years younger than I am. We're not dating yet (it's a long story, but to make a long story short, I live in America, he lives in England), and he doesn't know my age yet, but I want to be in a relationship with him. If we end up in a relationship, I definitely plan to move to England.

He and I are compatible in many ways and have the same lifestyle, interests, etc. I look and act a lot younger than my age, which is why I don't feel much of an age difference between us. He's never been married and doesn't have kids, although he said he'd like to someday. Same for me.

I've dated younger guys before, but usually they've been 5 to 7 years younger. So if I end up dating this guy who's 11 years younger, it'll be somewhat of a new experience for me. The way my love life has been going over the last few years, I'm pretty sure that the man I end up marrying will be younger than I am.

The man I'm hot for (the one who's 11 years younger) wants to have biological kids someday, and I'm a little worried that he may not want to be with me when he finds out my age. I'll tell him the truth when he asks me what my age is, and I know I'm still young enough to have kids biologically. But I'm well aware that if I have biological kids, it has to be within the next five years, or else there are major health risks.

I'd love to hear from other women who've been through this before and how you dealt with it -- being a woman of a certain age, involved with a younger man, and your biological clock could be a major issue in the relationship.

[buni]

I'm not worried about my clock ticking..
There are a lot of younger men deciding that they don't want children these days.

[londoncalling]

Buni, that's great that you're not worried about our biological clock, because it sound like having kids in the future isn't an issue for you.

But for many us, it's an issue, because most of the younger men I date do want to have kids someday. I want to have kids too, but only with the man who is my husband. I have no idea if or when I'll get married.

I'm at a borderline age. I'm still young enough to have children. I'm completely healthy and have no STDs. But time is running out before I have to start thinking about in vitro or other fertility treatments. These are financial issues that a lot of people have to deal with in older woman/younger man relationships, and they have the right to know that's going to be something they have to deal with if the relationship gets serious. I'm not one of those women who will lie about being younger just to get a man.

I just want to hear from any women who've been in a similar situation. This younger man I'm hot for is really special, and I'd like to get some advice on how to deal with this issue when the time comes for me to tell him my age. I know he's open to being with an older woman, but my ability to have biological kids will be an issue if he wants to get serious with me, since we both want to have kids.

I'm not desperate to get married or get pregnant, but I have time limitations to getting pregnant because of my age. I would like some suggestions on how to talk about this with him without being heavy-handed.

[buni]

I do understand where you are coming from...Hopefully some other ladies will have something to share.

[whatifiwaswhite]

sounds like a lucky f**ker (If your hot???) i hope i find a coug with good timing on her clock

[klasik]

Can someone shut up Mr. Bottle-fulla-bub?

You shouldn't be wasting your time with this boy. The pubs are full of younger men who would at least buy you a drink. Whatever you have to do to find a man in your area will be a cakewalk compared to starting a family with your online boy.

Your online relationship means nothing, unless you want an online marriage. Long-distance does not prepare you for intamacy. You do want intamacy right?

You don't have much time left. How many boyfriends have you had in the past five years. They all fell through. If you want the next five years to be different, you're going to have to act different. If I were you, I would spend 1/2 of my free-nights-out going out to meet men. After you've met a good lot, narrow your search down to five or six men. Casually date them all and gradually elimenate them survivor style. Then settle down with a man who is responsible and compliant. If you hustle, you should get this done within 2 years. That leaves you three years to concieve, which would give you barely enough time to have a couple babies.

Let me emphasize: you do not have time to fool around.

[dinno68]

why would a young man want to have a kid with an older lady their is just too much risk involved . If you want to have a kid you have to date a younger lady better chance of having a healthy kid.

[barbcast]

Dinno I swear you are just the RUDEST person sometimes... I've checked your other posts too, it's just awful! You asked in one post why ladies don't seem to want you. You act like we are nothing but sex toys, at least that's how your comments indicate you feel.

WE are looking for RESPECTFUL young men to participate in INTELLIGENT discussions, not brats spewing ignorant nonsense.

Better chance of having a healthy kid? Many young women ruin their bodies with free slutty sex nowadays, and many OLDER women who have taken care of themselves for years would make MUCH healthier mommies, both mentally AND physically, FYI.

Sorry, but I already don't like you. Your posts indicate troll status.

[wetnwild]

Originally Posted by barbcast

Better chance of having a healthy kid? Many young women ruin their bodies with free slutty sex nowadays,

Um, not to mention DRUGS, CIGARETTES and ALCOHOL. Oh yeah, really healthy stuff for baby-making there!!

Barbcast, ignore the troll and he will go away.

[mizbehavin]

You're right, london, the kids thing is a major issue in relationships with younger guys, but I think you're missing a bigger point. How can you speak about a relationship with someone when you're not even being honest with him? You need to be honest about your age and let him decide what to do with that piece of information before this goes any further.