Am I doing something wrong?

[startpoint]

Excuse me if I am continuing a similar theme from my last post. I wonder if I am putting off potential partners by mentioning my rural location and love of horses in my profiles on several dating sites? Does it seem off putting?

[houstoncougar]

why would you think that? I think you should be looking for women very close to you but I don't think the horses would have a negative impact at all.

[startpoint]

Thanks for the advice Tarni, I was worried if I was putting off potential partners by mentioning horses and the farm. Nice to know you like horses too.

[startpoint]

Tarni, I can well undertand your love of animals. I am just off to house sit for my fith cousin and to look after her dog and adorale cats and kitten

[startpoint]

Yes I know just how you feel about poachers, sounds a good idea to me. The kitten is growing up fast now and I had great fun with him while I house sat.

[startpoint]

Tarni, I think he may be the same age as your kitten. He is growing fast and loves to play fight with his mum. I am not sure how to upload pictures on this site or I would send you some pictures. I hope you have resolved you dating problem, excuse me for being nosy but like to see people happy. Have you found someone yet? I am still hopefull.

[startpoint]

Tarni,
I am pleased to hear you have met someone and I can understand your feelings about the age gap but come on! If he realy does like you and it sounds as if he does , the gap should be irelevant. I hope it all goes well for you both, he is very lucky!! I hope that after scrubing my cousins home and dong her laundry it may show her how much care, who knows?

[lunamor]

Tarni, I'm sure novelty is at least a small part of it - but then again, it's a novelty for you, too! That can be part of the attraction towards each other - meeting someone new who is different from the usual kinds of people you've both known is stimulating and engaging and fun!

If you both like each other enough to spend time together - go for it and see what happens, why not?

[houstoncougar]

you are right to be having the thoughts you are. That is a huge age difference and I do it all the time myself but, I unlike you are not in this for a life mate right now. I know I might get blasted for saying this but many older women have blinders on if they think that a man who is twenty or more years younger than them is going to look at them as a potential lifetime mate. Those men are very rare and very hard to find on top of it. In the last five years I have been in a couple of what I consider to be LTR's and one that lasted over a year but, I never thought of any of them as being a potential lifetime commitment. If that is what you are looking for then you would be wasting your time with someone his age who has never dated an older woman. I have a feeling for him it could be the novelty and also what I consider to be textreality (a place where people seem to fall in textlove) It usually wears off for them in about two weeks or less.

[lunamor]

It's understandable to want something longterm - when we're happy, we don't want to lose it!

On the other hand, it's rather scary (to me) to be contacted by someone who is looking for LTR right out of the gate. Why? Because it seems to me that he's already got a script in his head for the future, and he's looking to shove someone (who, ME?) into acting it out for his fulfillment. And we don't even know each other yet!

I also know that if I'd always insisted on LTR, I'd have cheated myself bigtime because I once met and knew someone for only a few short months, we knew it was time-limited but he was incredibly special, and I still treasure my memories of our time together.

I think the best thing is to just be open to meeting and knowing good, nice men without putting any kind of pre-conditions upon it - good, nice men are rare, and always worth knowing! Then see how it feels, and where it goes. In reality, knowing someone and being close is always a day-to-day thing, anyway. You can never know if the days will stretch into years, or not - even if someone says they want LTR.

But that's just me.