No dates in months and then 4 in one week

[sbrdbnt]

Has this ever happened to anyone?

I would have to say this is a first for me. I haven't dated or gone out anywhere with anyone since July, and now in this one week I've done (or will be doing) something almost every day this week, with not just with one woman, but three.

I shall not use names, but will mention a few details.

"T", although may not be a cougar is 8 years older than I. We had met online but never made it to the real world meet months ago. She was recently out of a relationship, but tried to get herself back out there, but wasn't ready to meet anyone at that time.

"S" is about my age, just slightly younger. Only "found" each other recently via an online ad I posted on a website.

"G" is a student and about 8 years younger. We "found" each other from an ad she posted online on the same website as S. We did meet up two Sundays ago, and it had gone well. Felt the potential for a spark there. It should be noted that although I'd probably prefer an older woman, I'm not exclusive to only preferring an older woman.

Monday I met with T. Your typical coffee/tea first meeting, talked for a few hours, didn't necessarily feel any spark. I talked a lot about myself and stuff that I'm doing. She acknowledges she doesn't have an exciting life or a lot going on, except her work. She wasn't bored by me spending most of the time talking about what I was doing.

Tuesday I had briefly played email tag with S, and tried to setup a quick meet (coffee/tea meeting) that evening, but she had gone away from the email and didn't come back until later in the evening. We did talk about possibly doing something on Friday, or if there was time after work to do the coffee meet Wednesday, except I had plans with G.

Wednesday I took G out to dinner and had an enjoyable evening. Almost missed this date because I worked late, and wasn't until about 7:30 before we could get together.

Tonight just came back from dinner with T. Talked for several hours about various things, and as it felt odd as we were discussing Star Trek and roleplaying games... not something I hear you talk about on a first date

T and I decided to get together again on the Saturday next week. Also confirmed plans to meet up tomorrow (Friday) with S after I'm done work. Don't know the where or what, but it would probably be your typical coffee meet.

Don't have any specific plans Saturday, but the only reason I'm not meeting up with G on Friday or Saturday is because she works as much as she can on those days to help cover living expenses.

Sunday after I'm done helping family move some stuff I'd like to get together with G again.

This is very new for me. To not just casually date someone, but to multi-date. I've heard this is common out there, so I presume I'm not doing anything "wrong" by meeting up and seeing several women at one time. Nothing sexual has happened between any of them, and probably won't right away. I haven't made a decision to see any of them exclusively, although if I had to indicate a preference which way I may be leaning, I'd be leaning towards G. Because we haven't talked about it, I don't know her thoughts on being exclusive, so I'm not closing the door on other options.

With G, I did find it easy to talk to her about anything. Sometimes when you're talking to someone new, you might feel uncomfortable discussing certain subjects, such as past history. You might not know how they'd react, or if it'd be better to save it till later. Definitely not the case with G, and why I'm leaning towards her. Maybe it was because I felt she was as interested in myself as I am in her, so I didn't feel like something I may say might be a deal breaker or turn-off. With that said, I don't plan to discuss any of those deep dark secrets I may hold (presuming I had any) with her.

So, for those who have done this sort of thing, at what point do you decide to focus on seeing just one? Even if there is only one you're casually dating at a time, how long does it take you to decide if you want to see someone more exclusively? Do you have thoughts about the long term with them, or do you just see where it goes, and if it turns into a relationship all the better?

Have you had someone you were comfortable enough with that you could talk to about anything that'd be on your mind? How did it go?

I'll admit typical "dating" for me, particularly online oriented meetings have had a lot of conversation before the actual meeting. To the point where both of us have discussed a relationship scenario even before actually meeting face to face. Most of my early "dating" experiences were "long distance" sort of things, where meeting up for a casual drink was not much of an option. One from last year wasn't exactly long distance, but neither of us had a vehicle which was necessary as no public transit went out where she lived.

All three of the above were found via the internet, but the great thing is that none of them got bogged down in the "need to chat for a ton of hours to decide if there is interest to meet" mindset. It's about time I meet some women who aren't slaves to the internet and instead use it to actually meet people

So, any thoughts or comments from those out there?

What a lengthy post!

As far as being comfortable with someone to be able to talk about anything with.. I really can't say I have. Even if I do feel a connection, I'm careful to watch what I say because I don't want to get too comfortable and make the situation uncomfortable. You get what I'm saying?

[sbrdbnt]

Yea, one of my unfortunate failings is I can write a lot

True, there's some things I wouldn't necessarily voluntarily talk about, particularly on a "first" date, but of the things we did talk about, there wasn't any awkward moments.

[trophywife4fun]

more often than I care to admit...

[sbrdbnt]

Well, two weeks has passed, and although I hadn't returned to update on the situation, the short answer is I'm back to 0 dates a week

The one that was closest in age, we simply didn't have much in common and as far as I can tell there wasn't any mutual attraction. I doubt there was much to even base a friendship off of.

The older one had thought she was ready to get back into the dating pond, but put the brakes on. Not just the normal brakes, put the emergency brake on as well... So much so that I haven't heard from her in a week.

The younger one didn't know what she wanted ( what a surprise there, eh? )

Well, it was fun while it lasted...

[buni]

Yes..inquiring minds want to know..lol

[sbrdbnt]

Well, I suppose I opened this can of worms, and it doesn't want to stay closed.

From a pure physical perspective, I favored the younger one. Let's face it I'm male and it's hard to say no to a pretty face, can you blame me

I did get the sense when we had met up a couple times that she was interested, but who knows what goes through the mind of women

Interesting Trivia: The younger one had actually lived in the exact same apartment I am currently in when she was younger. There was a different landlord, but the exact same apartment. Maybe that freaked her out


With the older one we had a better mental connection, and I felt we were more on the same page, although I hadn't felt the romantic "spark" there. I think we could have had a great friendship if she had not climbed back into her shell and stopped all communications.

In the end I didn't have to decide which I was more interested in because they all ran away... the story of my life

Violins playing in the background...




Note to admins: Is there a reason we're limited to 4 smilies/images? I had to delete a couple just to have this post.

[sbrdbnt]

As I had mentioned in my original message, although she was older, she was no cougar, as in she was already hesitant about being involved with a younger man. She had always dated older, so it was a new experience.

No,you'd be misinterpreting that statement. Please don't analyze the situation based on the limited facts in this tread, and come to assumptions like this. There are many older women out there who have quite the pretty faces.

Although it all seemed to happen all at once, I had been chatting with the younger one for a day or two before the older one re-entered the picture.

The older woman was aware that I had gone on a date or two with others around that time. At one point she was actually concerned that she may have been leading me on as wanting more than just merely a friendship, or a few dates.

During the week where I had those several dates, I didn't have a specific preference for one or the other. I viewed each on an individual basis to get a feel for if there was potential with either. Only after everything was said and done when I analyzed each did I come to the realization that the physical qualities were the reason I had more than one meeting with the younger one.

As I understand it, women are typically analyzing everything in "real time". Although I'd have to ask the guys out there, I suspect most guys analyze things only when there is a major change to the situation

When the older one slammed on the brakes, she had been reminded of a bad experience she had previously had, and didn't want to risk something like that happening again. If there was anything I did wrong it was being a gemini (flirty and playful).

While I am quite interested in being involved with a cougar, I am not limiting myself to cougars in my search to find "the one". The past experiences though only reinforce that I should probably avoid the younger ones.

The most wonderful but short lived relationship I had was with a cougar (19 years older).

So, before you all analyze this new information and come to some strange conclusions, ask for more details, please

BTW Tarni, do you know why the admin limited us to 4 smilies. The comment about the can of worms originally had an emoticon to indicate the less than serious nature of it.

[sbrdbnt]

First, I didn't ponder that question, and second, I've been on the internet long enough to know that nothing posted on the internet is private. I know that some employers do those type of searches to see what they can dig up on prospective employees.

I also google and do a few searches to see what I find. Doesn't everyone? Would you like to see my PoF Profile

Do I have anything to hide? If I did, I wouldn't be using an identifiable name, or posting my picture.

In fact, I hadn't even posted the part about me preferring the younger one until AFTER she slammed on the brakes. The only thing I could imagine her being offended by was that I was meeting up with one or two others. As we had already established that we weren't jumping into anything exclusive, can someone necessarily be offended (even when they say they felt like they were leading me on?)

So, does that mean I shouldn't post about the couple other women I have only recently started communicating with

True, you can only base your responses on what I have provided, but when you try to piece together a puzzle based on incorrect information, don't fill it in with details which may be incorrect.

If you try to post a message with more than 4 emoticons it gives you a message saying that you have to go back to fix the problem. You can try it and see what comes up. It appears to be a setting, possibly to prevent overuse of them. I've never seen a forum that restricted the number of emoticons.

[sbrdbnt]

Actually, by reading the thread, everyone should know I posted about having a preference for the younger one (message 10) after I indicated the older one had slammed on the breaks (message 7). I remember a certain two ladies quite intrigued about which I was more interested in

Not exactly being defensive, I'm just in debate mode