General question...

[laxflip]

Hmmmm I have a general question. I have been on here a few months now and just find it odd how things seem to flow on the site. I mean I make attempts to communicate with some of the women who either never reply, talk with me a few times then are never heard from again, or in one very rare case respond politely that they are not interested...

Is there a particular reason you women just dont respond? I mean im sure you get many messages each day but at least give us a response even if its just to tell us to bugger off.

Furthermore what is the actual "method" or "way" to go about things I find myself wondering if perhaps I am doing this all wrong...

[tarni]

There are a multitude of reasons so all I can tell you is how I feel and why I respond to some and not others. It is a burnout of sorts for me, I get many guys wanting to chat and get to know me when they live so far away and have no intention of visiting - chatting is not my goal so I dont respond to those who live so far away they wont get to me. That is one reason. Another is if a guy says something in his introduction to me that makes it so obvious he did not read my profile - that is a turn off right off the bat.
A woman wants to see the guy actually is considering her words.

[toriw]

well, sometimes age does make a difference, did someone say it doesnt? <smile> and as Tarni said, distance can make a differnce also. Who is willing to travel? Im not, cant.
Sometimes it isnt about a "meet" but just the sharing of thoughts, ideas, prefernces. Getting to know and share.
Someone asked me in a private email what I was looking for. Quite a loaded question. Was the question am I looking for something casual or something serious or they 'type' of gentleman?
"Cougars" are interested in younger men for a variety of reasons, imho.
Personally, I find the youth, vitatlity, strength but also the maturity and intellignence they MAY also posess.
Its a balance of things, dont you think?
I am 50 and am told often that I appear 42. Nice, Who wants to be told they look "old"? I have the energy and vitatility of a 35 yr. old yet I dont need a wimpy 23 year old as company.
My youngest "cub" (if you will) was 27. Handsome, charming and incredibly immmature though. Nice arm candy but not wating just that.
So, what is this youthful "maturity" that "Cougars" are searching for? For me it is that youth and vitality and stength yet also that maturity some young men posess. For me, its lets play golf, go horse back riding, lift weights...and fine dining.
I think it is often a rare find.
Is it "serious"? Who knows! If you are "just" looking for experience, then I would venture to say, for self, look no further, at least not with me.
PUPS are great adventure yet DOGS are mature beyond their years.
Above all, a development of a freindship because you just dont know IF it will be anything more.........and just plain sex.......phft........dime a dozen.

[golfer]

I like to see a picture first of who is trying to contact me. Its much nicer to see who you are talking to before actually starting to get to involved without one. Again, as has been mentioned previously, distance is a major thing, I work full time and unless it was something really special, I mean drop dead gorgeous with a super fit body then I probably wouldn't want to travel to say Scotland to meet someone I might not hit it off with. I am willing to travel if we seem to get on and have things in common, but I ain't going nowhere if all your after is a quite one night stand.

[hot_rider]

For me, it is rude not to respond to messages I receive. There have been a few times when I have been in a hurry or the sendee had obviously not read my profile, that I have ignored a message, but that is very rare for me. Even if I am not interested, I always respond with a quick messages of "thanks, but no thanks."

I'm not a fan of the "Wink wink" feature, so I do generally ignore those. If the guy doesn't want to take the time to write a personal note of interest, forget it.

I do tend to ignore many chat boxes that pop up. I'm not a fan of rude young men who automatically assume you want to chat to them.

I suggest you take the time to read a woman's profile before you message her. As someone else pointed out, we want to know you are interested enough to read about us and get to know us on a deeper level. Mention something in her profile that intrigued you. Ask about it further. Make that effort to show you are REALLY interested and not just another fly-by-profile-and-send-a-quick-message guy.

Oh, and don't send a mass message, the same writing to every woman. Most times it is so obvious and a big turn off. I had one guy say he was attracted to my great smile. Well thanks, but I don't have a face pic on my profile. DUH!

[jk1982]

Originally Posted by hot_rider

I had one guy say he was attracted to my great smile. Well thanks, but I don't have a face pic on my profile. DUH!

that's so funny!
While there might well be reasons for his mass-emailing (lack of intelligence, lack of interest from members etc) it still doesnt excuse the fact that he obviously was making no more effort than CTRL-V / CTRL-C... prime example guys, I'm no expert but something tells me that showing a complete lack of regard in message 1 is not the best route to whatever you are looking for!
End of the day, people will be either attracted or not attracted to you, but you can give the fickle mistress that is the gene pool a helping hand by being attentive, honest and most importantly, yourself... no point in getting someone to fall for you if they're not actually falling for the real you is there!

[trophywife4fun]

I'm not sure why you haven't gotten any replies. I can only speak for myself... I'm here to chat and share the challenges and joy that this lifestyle presents not live some alternative reality or be someone I'm not, not that you are or anyone else here is, but it happens.

I have very specific things I like in a man and being polite is at the top of the list. So not that you aren't but if there is any question error on the side of being polite.

I see you've posted twice. I am far more likely to read something smart or witty and say hello to someone here than reply to someone who never posts and then complains about the site when he does.

[kmussekl]

I have had a lot of good exchanges and even find a mature woman on the site - review your approach

[patriciacamilles]

For me, a lot depends on what is said in the initial message whether it's a box standard hello send to 100 other women, or a more crafty message sent to 50, and whether it is fine tuned to me and a few 10 others, or broadcast material to the masses -anything registering as female on the site. I'm a focused lady, so to grab my attention has to mean something new, not seen before! Like it was meant for me! A delicate and purposed made message to get me think "hmmm? who's that?" And as regards the flurry of pop up windows that all come at once as soon as I registered online begging for (free) sex chat, I tend to get bored, most of the times I'll just say "I'm busy! Work commitment!" Done it before chatting endlessly like that! Being polite, and asking the lady if she would not mind to spend a bit of time with you, and most of all remaining a gentleman should do the trick. Common sense! Don't forget that women are used to get their attention distracted, and to see men using different strategies and subterfuges to get them interested in them all the time! Real and online! I think that should help you a little on the right track!