2 different cougars, 2 very different situations...

[dallasjeremi]

I just wanted to pitch two of the scenarios I've been involved in over the past 6 months and see if there was any potential or truth to them. I see anyone is capable of playing games and I just want to know if either of these have potential to really be anything. Not a real relationship but I mean like...ANYTHING...(And a sorry for the lengthy post)

1. The first one is a teacher at my college (I know this sounds bad please don't judge :/ ). I had her for a class first quarter and literally dropped my jaw to the floor multiple times in her class. She came in pencil skirts and boots, very very nice blouses. Pretty much the epitome of sexy teacher. She was in her 40's and had a cute voice as well. Over the course of my time at school we have hung out (just the two of us) including having me over to her house.

I sort of made a move on her one day in the car. When she was dropping me off back at the apartment she talked about how she wasn't sure about what was going on and everything and I wanted to assure her I was trying to comfort her (she has this big apartment all to herself and she doesn't seem to get away from school work much) and that I would never jeopardize her being a teacher. We kissed...twice... and it wasn't just a peck it was a long kiss. Ever since she's invited me to trips out of the country, and on a few rare occasions when I can actually catch her not busy she seems to want me around.

But a lot of times she seems to freeze up at the last second or be extremely nervous about it. Is it worth it still talking to her or being romantic with her? I mean she obviously likes it most the time but then others she freezes up and kinda avoids me. The teacher thing is a big deal and I don't want to get her fired or anything, as I know this is a touchy subject. But since I haven't had a class with her in years, and I've never told a soul (beyond the people here) about us, and no one ever sees us together, I was trying to keep her career safe. So is it worth it to push for more (either physically or emotionally) or should I stop making things difficult for her?

2. This woman literally fits the general definition (at least that used by silly males like myself) of a cougar. She was my best friend's mom in middle school and it had been years since I had seen her. One day she added me on Facebook and we got to talking. The subject became sexual at some point and she said I was obviously flirting with her. But she also came out and said she was encouraging the flirting by flirting with me.

Over the course of the last few weeks she has sent me 2-3 pics of herself, insinuated nude but not flat out nude. We have also exchanged our fetishes and fantasies from her extensive high heel collection to many other things no one probably wants to hear about. However she lives pretty far away and I can't help but feel like this is more of a game to her. Like that maybe in some strange way I make her feel good but she doesn't REALLY want to do anything with me. We've talked multiple times about doing a photo shoot together (I'm an aspiring photographer and have a portfolio started so you know I'm not just a guy with a camera) and she wants to do pinup. She asked things like "will there be places we can be alone" and continually uses sexual inuendos that get my blood boiling.

However when I say I have freetime or keep trying to say "lets do something" she seems to have an excuse or not want to actually fulfill any of the fantasies we've shared. So is this one worth pursuing? Am I wasting my time? Is this just an older woman wanting to feel pursued in order to gain self fulfilment and nothing more? I don't mind just being friends with benefits, or even something to fulfill the pleasure of a cougar lady. But I do kind of want SOMETHING to really happen and move beyond texting/emailing. This cougar almost seems too good to be true, so I have doubts. Help...lol

Sorry again for the lengthy post. I'd like to hear any comments or feedback, as neither of these seem to be working out that well and I'm kinda lost...haha....

[madameregi]

I feel the friends mom is doing it just for a kick or her own self esteem; whether to feel young again or simply attractive to the younger generation.

As for the teacher, not sure, but sounds like shes had plenty of opportunities and hasn't jumped onto the bandwagon (so to speak).

I dont see either as long term options. They say what sounds too good to be true, usually is. I think these situations would lead to heartache.

The main point I want to make is a true cougar has maturity (most of the time) so is unlikely to play games or back away and make excuses. Perhaps you should consider trying to connect with one of our charming ladies here on an emotional level and see where that leads.

Hope this has helped!

[bayridgebabe]

Madam, yes, yes yes & yes, did I say yes? I think you said a mouthful here & everything you said I totally agree with. Sound like the friends mother just needs to be validated that she is still attractive & can get a younger man if she really wants to. As for the teacher/professor, hmmmmmm maybe she is scared & doesn't want to take it any further. Neither of these 2 women are relationship worthy nor are they looking for anything except, IMHO someone younger to boost their self-confidence & attractiveness.

[houstoncougar]

Let me say something here about the teacher. It is against the law in Texas for a teacher to have sex with a person who attends their school and is under the age of I believe it's 22 but, I would need to check my sexual abuse notes from the conference I recently attended to be 100% positive because it could be older than that. Perhaps, the thought of her whole career going down the toilet is what is causing her to freeze up? If that's not it she is seriously deluded as to how a fling with a student on her campus could be beneficial to her. As for your friend's mom... you can not possibly be that naive can you? She's screwing with your head for her own entertainment be it pumping up her self esteem or whatever. On a side note though. do you value your friend's friendship? If you do I'd suggest you stop your flirtatious behavior with his mother before he finds out and kicks your ass to the curb.

[dallasjeremi]

Everything you said makes sense. However Houston he was my friend in middle school. I had moved since then so i havent even talked to or imed him for roughly 5 or 6 years. And I couldnt help but try and see what could happen. Im a typical dumb male it seems, lol. I feel sort of dumb now.

[lynda]

The ladies have given some really good advice here. The teacher is most definitely looking at her career just as she should. I do not think any man is worth losing what you have spent years to achieve. Houston makes a good point in the age when attending the same school as the teacher. Respect the fact that she is a teacher and not a peer.

The other one is a dime a dozen and can be found anywhere a young male will pay them attention. She wants to be validated that she is still attractive and sexually wanted by a guy that is young and hot. I do not think she would actually go through with anything but why would you want too. There is plenty of good looking older women that would love to talk, get to know you and date out here instead of those that want something shallow.

Move on before you get hurt or hurt someone....

[dallasjeremi]

Thanks for the advice ladies! Moving on!

[lynda]

A wise man...