Should you?

[bigglesworth]

If you really like someone and want it to be a long term relationship, should you sleep with them on the first date, or that an antiquated ideal these days?

[i_sing_4u]

It's not about being antiquated so much than the fact that men are still wired the same regardless of women's lib or whatever social "progress" you care to call it. If you have zero expectations of your new friendship growing into something lasting, I say just sleep with the guy and enjoy life!

On the other hand, I believe that men are wired to hunt. It dates back to creation, evolution or however you believe we got here...spaceship? LOL These days, you won't find as many men who like to go deer hunting, unless you live in some rural area. But they are still hard-wired for it regardless. If we give them what they're "hunting" for so easily, they most likely won't appreciate the kill.....kind of like buying your meat, poultry or fish all packaged up neatly in styrofoam and plastic wrap. Doesn't take much effort.

I know it shouldn't have to be so complicated. If you both decide you're crazy about each other, you SHOULD, theoretically, be able to sleep with each other whenever you please. But then we rob them of their hunting instinct, and in the long run...it doesn't work. I guess it sounds kind of old-fashioned, but I enjoy the long courting process, and I'm not gonna just fall madly into bed with a guy on the first date, no matter how good he kisses! hehe

[bigglesworth]

Then I guess the hunt or the chase is more important to them than the capture or the kill. (not literally) How long would you say you should put them off 2 dates three? or 1 month to 3 months? I know this sounds rather ridiculous, but a friend of mine and I are in a huge debate over this.

[i_sing_4u]

I would say that depends on the tenure of the friendship. If you've been talking to the guy in chat for months and then on the phone, by the time it graduates to real time, it's gonna be hard to put him off for more than a few dates. I think it depends on the level of commitment you've already established and the circumstances. When my sweetie's plane finally touches down, I don't think either one of us will wanna wait much past dinner. LOL But I was talking about if you just met someone, had a couple chats and decide to meet. Your first meet should definitely not be about sex. I don't think there's any hard and fast rules, because every circumstance is different. That's why I talked about what YOU want from the relationship.

I'm not saying that nobody who sleeps together on the first or second date is gonna end up in a long term relationship because there are statistics that prove otherwise. But the women who waited until there was commitment are the happiest ones, because their men treasure them as something they fought for.

I guess I'll be waiting for the attack of the rotten tomatoes on this one, but that's what I believe. LOL

[bigglesworth]

No rotten fruit or veggies from me, may not like the message, but no need to kill the messenger. Actually you were very insightful, hoping to hear other views as well.

[cheshirecat]

From my personal point of view, it really doesn't matter.
One of my friends, on the other hand, will not date a woman who puts out on a first date.

[cutemaleguy]

Originally Posted by bigglesworth

If you really like someone and want it to be a long term relationship, should you sleep with them on the first date, or that an antiquated ideal these days?

Long Term Relationships are something that don't happen over night. You have to basically take your time with it, and be patient. If you rush things, then it's never ever going to work out.

Besides, sex on the first date just makes you look bad and the other person will get the impression that sex is all that you want. Sex will always be there and can come later, the more important thing is building an emotional and mental foundation with the person you are very interested in.

[wetnwild]

Hmmm, this is actually an interesting thread! I would love to hear more comments from the guys on this!! Come on guys, this is your chance to tell us how you feel about this! Don't be shy!

[violet]

Originally Posted by cheshirecat

One of my friends, on the other hand, will not date a woman who puts out on a first date.

How does he know that she puts out on a first date?

[samathia]

I would have to ask what it is you were looking for in the first place.
I personally do not go for the younger men in hopes of a long term relationship.
I run a Restaurant so let me use this analogy.
If you find a nice comfortable clean place to eat and have fun you may come back for more because you like the different parts of the menu.
But sometimes you just want to pick up something quick for a snack.
I have been known to just eat and run.