Need Advise

[sexy_pleasure]

Wow!
What happend ?

[wetnwild]

Yes, don't drop a bomb like that and then leave us hanging! What happened???

[jimmyg]

u want short version or the long version

[wetnwild]

Long version, with details, please, so we know what happened!

[jimmyg]

ill give the long version

Well on Thursday night we were chatting and she brought up that she didn't want me talking to no one else. I told her that i wasn't and asked her if she was talking to anyone, she reply no and because she didn't want to disrespect me then lil later we ended our conversation. Friday she wanted me to go with her to resolve a ticket she got 2 weeks ago. While we were there this guy started flirting with her i know he was just spitting game so i started walking away and i told her lets go babe. Well anyways she stayed talking to him and he asked for her number as i was in line and she gave him her true number, then came to stand in line with me. After court she invited me to lunch so we went on the way there going on how she cant wait to get one of her tats covered (the guy that was hitting on her told her that he throwing a tattoo party next week) i told her babe u know he was just trying to spit game, she replied u really think so, yeah he was and explained that i asked him how much would he charge me to get a tribal tat from elbow all the way up to wrap around my shoulder and he said 150 and explained there's no way he going to do a 12 + hour tat for 150 my friend who owns a tattoo shop wants 800 but in 3 or 4 day sessions, So there's no way he gonna do it for 150. So then she was like ooh **** i cant believe i gave him my number should i change my number. I replied no babe but if he starts bugging u then yes but u gotta be careful who give ur number to, then began talking about another subject we got to the restaurant and in the middle of our lunch out of no where she brings up i cant believe i gave him my number. I was like well babe u gotta be careful but if he starts bugging u then change it. she replies I know I know. Then i go in a funny joking way baby ur so gullible and she stays quiet few min pass i look over at her i see something wrong so i ask are u ok babe. she replies i cant believe u just said that. I was babe being gullible is not a bad thing im gullible too. She tells me she wants to go home so i stop what im doing and box our lunch and paid and took her home, on the way there i tried to explain that its not a bad thing and i didn't mean in a bad way but she didn't say anything well i dropped her in front of her house and left home when i got home i send her a text saying "sorry i didn't mean to hurt u but being gullible is not a bad thing again sorry" well she replied "sorry for acting like that and disrespecting u in giving that guy my number". I told her babe don't worry about it, but since that everything feels so awkward and were not talking as much and i dunno, but there some other factors too that i don't like for example every time we go out we have to take time out of our date to take her adult son food or things its starting to bug me. I know its her son but she treats him like a baby and spoils him a lot, i was not raised that way i was raised to b independent. but yeah i dont know right now i guess will see how thing go for the next few days

[wetnwild]

Hmmm....well first of all I think it was VERY disrespectful of her to give that dude her number!! If all she wanted was a tat or a tat cover or whatever, she could have just taken his number. Secondly, if she is going to get THAT upset just because you told her she is gullible, even after all of the apologizing you did, then what would happen if you do something that REALLY upsets her?

And I have to say taking home food for her grown son, that would annoy me also!! I'm quite sure he is capable of microwaving something or making a frozen pizza or whatever on the nights she is out with you!

However, having said that, have you tried to talk to her about these things? Sometimes I think that people just don't want to talk about things anymore. If things don't go absolutely perfectly, it seems too easy to just walk away. A relationship is only as good as the communication in it. So if you think she's worth it, I would definitely discuss these issues with her.

[jimmyg]

That's exactly how i feel im worry that what if one day we get into a argument that worst then this that she gonna go nuts on me. (dont want, hate drama)

and her son needs to stop being such a momma boy even her brothers tell her that he needs to grow up

honestly i don't think i want part of this anymore i really don't since that happen she been texting me and saying how sorry and other stuff its just been so awkward and ive even got real close to blocking her number so she can stop calling and texting me

well u live and learn u make mistakes and learn from them

[bigglesworth]

Hmmmm....sounds like she wanted another son, not so much a loving relationship. I have a grown son too, but don't cater to his every whim like she seemed to do. I think you need a more mature "cougar" to be involved with, one that knows who she is and what she really wants, (which would be you) and not every Tom, Dick or Harry that seems to come along.

[houstoncougar]

I agree with the ladies about her being disrespectful giving out her number to someone but, if it was done innocently because he was a good tattoo artist (how she would know this idk) then I can see her point. The fact that she was that gullible is a completely other point, perhaps she is not very worldly? But, and this is a big but, I think that you yourself might have been looking for a way out ( ie. due to her son etc.) and this is a rather convenient way to sever any ties to her. You have to remember that just because women are older does not mean that they are perfect, their lives are perfect and that everything will run smoothly (no drama) all of the time. I for one would prefer a guy who doesn't think about bailing at the first sign of conflict.

[cheshirecat]

Jimmy, let me give you some advice man to man. You are not obliged to take it. As one person on the Internet talking to another, this is simply how your scenario appears to me.

This lady is playing you. She's had cold feet from the start and you said you'd be interested in being FRIENDS with her. The fact she was interested in being friends with you, but not in a courtship alerted me straight away. You are her leaning post and you are there to make her feel better about herself whilst there is no one else around. You are there to pay her attention, you are there for her to spend time with. She is not all that interested in staying committed to you.

Even IF this is a legitimate courtship, giving her number out to some random the way she did is saying a great deal about her personality. Flying off the handle because you called her gullible is childish and is expected from an 18 year old, not a full grown woman. This person is a loose cannon and you are going to get hurt. If you're adamant on maintaining what you have with her right now, you will need to sit down with her and talk to her and get it ironed out. Women love a man with confidence, and you're going to have to be calm and assertive to get this sorted. There is no room at the table for your tears. If you are dating a lady, you need to be a man and you need to wear bigger pants than your similar-aged counterparts.

Like Houstoncougar mentioned, it's preferable to have a guy who does not think about bailing out on something at the first sign of conflict, but sometimes you need to listen to your gut and decide what is best for yourself.

Whatever you decide to do, be sure to keep us updated.