Guys advice for women

[sealion]

I will say I think a good idea on initial dates is to try not to let the past cloud judgments and prevent you from having a good time. In the past that's been the case - not for me but with the other person - and that ends up torpedoing things, not so much in terms of high expectations I can't live up to but rather expectations that I will do something bad (like a previous guy the other person dated/was married to etc.)

[1bzychick]

Originally Posted by tantricblissforu

*Please turn your cell phone off while we're on a date or eating a meal. That's a quick way to Check, please! for me

oh heck yes. I have a young man friend (who I'd like to be more, but... I'm not sure he's into Cougar's) who always simply hits the silent button when he gets a call. He doesn't even look at the screen. I love that.

[1bzychick]

Originally Posted by charliex

i use the term relationship loosely, basically what i meant is you know where youre going with the relationship. and like stated above by wetnwild some younger girls develope the idea of exclusitivity, but thats an opinion. in my opinion wnw, some older women do that too! im starting to think youre a good cougar and not looking for advice. im just posting this for women who want to know what i think is the ideal cougar. getting back to the 5 date thing like i said if you dont find out what the person is looking for early(communication) then after a few dates in my opinion and experiences women tend to develope that sense of exclusivity, and you know i would most likely too. if youre not looking for a serious relationship just a "friend" then even without talking about it before the fifth date, in my opinion, you would be past the point of dating.

oh and violet i saw you were from iceland and my mind wandered, hehe def not a bad thing!

Okay, so I think it all boils down to chemistry... I might see someone 3 or 4 times before I figure out if they are 'right' for me. So 5 dates doesn't seem like something 'exculsive', OTOH if I happened on Mr. Right on date 1, and by that I mean we are both feeling the chemistry, get along well, etc... Date 2 may just make me think... yep, I'd like to keep this one. So, I think it depends on a lot of things. I do think the key is saying what you are looking for up front.

[lunamor]

Originally Posted by 1bzychick

I might see someone 3 or 4 times before I figure out if they are 'right' for me

I agree that it isn't a cut and dried deal just because you meet and have a date or two or three - and if a guy was seeing someone else at the time, I don't think I'd have anything to say about it (and vice versa). I don't think that makes anyone a "player" at that point in time. To my mind, at this stage "don't ask/don't tell" is the most delicate, most diplomatic and wisest policy!

Originally Posted by 1bzychick

I do think the key is saying what you are looking for up front.

Here's where I disagree - to me there's nothing more chilling than hearing what someone's looking for up front, often even before actually meeting (or even worse, what they feel they're "entitled" to, God forbid): it smacks too much of someone seeking an actor to fulfill a key role in their personal little drama entitled "Life As I Expect It To Be" that they've already scripted in their head - ugh!!! RUN!!!

[maye]

Ok, so this is where you tell the ladies what's up, right? What I like and don't like?
So this is my general view on things - this is just things i've picked up that many girls do, but since I for a long time followed what was seen as "normal" by society - I unfortunately have no way of knowing if this also applies to older women.

The Good:

- The assertiveness. I love it when women comes up to me to tell me they're interested or think Im really hot - It's an ego thing! Even better is when they push you up against a wall to get a feel or grab your ass(In small ammounts - can be incredibly creepy with too much of it) Unfortunately I've been a little down with the training for the moment so that doesn't really happen anymore - I need to fix that, by the way

- Intelligence. Since I am incredibly sexually charged myself I like an extremely assertive and sexual behaviour, but I also need to feel like I'm speaking TO a partner sometimes - not AT a partner. someone I feel I can do things with that are outside the bedroom also.

The things that could be better:

- I dont really care that you're dating multiple guys(to the polyamourus women out there), but I think you should perhaps relax with the rubbing it in my face part - I get it, you had to tell me. Thank you - next topic!

Hmm, what more - Can't really think of any more major things that I love or hate for the moment, but just ask away. I unfortunately did not read through all of the text yet, but its so massive that ill do it in segments and pick up aspects mentioned as I see them.

- One of the things that spirit_sh commented on was the set of rules that govern dates and so on -It should be noted that "dating" is a bit more relaxed in sweden than it is in the US from what I've come to understand. Meeting up for a traditional dinner would feel extremely awkward and "stuck-up" if it happened to me in sweden, so I guess we dont really have many expectations about how a "date" should be. However, I do agree that sometimes you can feel like people are putting up some kind of image of what they think you want to see. I think this has much to do with having the confidence to just act as you would around your friends or family.

[lunamor]

Oops sorry I didn't notice that this was the guy's thread cuz women were posting - should I delete what I wrote?

[maye]

You'll have to ask the other guys, but its cool with me. I read yours too by the way.