Ask An Older Woman Thread (all you ever wanted to know)

[westcougar]

susanlb50
Ahem. Safe sex only and you know what? I have loads of dates that don't end in sex. And it is judging, by the way.

As many or some of the cubs here are not being faithful, and if you are to them, they're transmitting whatever they have to you, too. And whatever their other partners have.

I'm a bit insulted, frankly.

[susanlb50]

I'm sorry you felt that way, in no way did I mean to insult you...and you are right, you never know if someone you are sleeping with is sleeping with other women too even if you are in a serious relationship, my marriage ended because of that...but like I said I was only curious about your feeling regarding this not judging you..

[westcougar]

I'm glad that's sorted out.

[surfkitty]

West Cougar,

that's exactly the sort of relationship I'm looking for. I have one relationship that is sexual and another that is not (the guy is older in this one and has his own issues). But right now, I only want to worry about my own issues and take care of myself. I believe myself to be a intelligent, vibrant, senuous being and that is how I want to act.

I grew up Catholic and spent 20 years practicing Judaism, so I am just now coming out of my Guilt phase of my life. I am proud, self confident, and as stated before reasonably intelligent, so it is not just sex for the sake of sex, but more the flirting and the parrying, so the guy has to be smart to arouse my interest first before anything else.

I guess I'm just at the stage that if sex happens and he doesn't call again. (like that never happens) then I'm not going to be all broken up about it. It's a life lesson for me right now. this is a lifestyle and an attitude that I have only recently adopted and I figure it has a shelf life of about 3-5 years before I want to put down roots again.

I still enjoy being by myself and with friends, both male and female and if I don't have a partner it does not stop me from having a dinner party, however if I can have a little fun with an enthusiastic and muscular gent then that just puts an added spring in my step and usually the more enthusiastic and muscular gents are the young ones.

Nobody is more surprised than me when I receive this kind of attention.

[laine175]

What a great thread...I've really enjoyed reading this, and have to say I've learn't a lot!! I'm not looking for casual, I guess I'm at the place some of you ladies will get to in time, I've been single 5yrs now and before that was in a marriage for 22yrs so I've had fun on the dating scene for 5yrs with a couple of semi serious relationships thrown into the mix I'm not looking to get married again but would be nice now to have someone in my life for a bit longer than now.
But I have to say WC your tips are spot on for either type of relationship key word in all...RESPECT guys

[westcougar]

Thanks, surfkitty and Laine... it's nice to know I'm in good company.

It really is difficult to expect perfect sophistication and manners from men so new to adulthood, but it can be found. I'm pretty happy so far with the few contacts I've made who are both gentlemen and all the other things I crave as well!

[laine175]

The best thing I've found about this site WC is the comradeship with other women of like mind, it's a place of mostly good discussion....and lots of humour I've made some wonderful friends and there are definately some very cute guys lol

[sealion]

y'know I do have a feeling now if it was a guy who started a thread looking for the same type of thing he'd be heavily criticized etc. by some elements of the people who visit this site. I know this is negative sounding but in my review of past posts etc. I feel it has been the case.

[laine175]

You could be right sealion but I think if you look back at some of the threads guys have written about NSA...they are not so detailed or respectful and thats what usually affords the rebukes however maybe just maybe the tides are turning and people are becoming more open to discussion we can only hope......

[lunamor]

I wish some clever guy had written HIS 'casual relationship' manifesto before this, it would have been interesting to see what the reaction would have been.