How long does it take you...

To figure out if a girl is digging you?

I think I'm at about 10 minutes max to figure out if she's just being friendly or really attracted.

I love having my focus on me, though. And as much as I used to AFC about "getting" a girl to like me, I used to waste so much time and money trying to 'date' - now I pretty much interview girls I run into. I'm pretty smooth about it (although I could use more practice), and don't usually ask too many questions directly, but I'll dig.

I went out last night to a local club. After about 10 minutes with one girl I was able to determine she was not worthy of any real effort. Was she attractive? Yes, an HB8 probably. But I probed and figured out that she had 1.) a drug problem 2.) ex's she keeps as friends 3.) a lot of guy friends.

All three of those are deal breakers to me and I didn't have to spend a dime =)

It got me thinking about doing the whole speed-dating thing lol
__________________
It's only when the tide goes out that you learn who's been swimming naked.

Originally Posted by tarni

Hey Adam, don't you have a girlfriend? You just asked what you would do for her V-Day present and that you have been with her for 2 years.

I read the V-day post as well and I am just as confused as Tarni. Why would you be stressing on how you can top last year's Valentine's gift, and now flaunting your speed-dating skills?

Someone is full of it and I'm calling you out on it.

[seansc]

what do you consider a drug problem?

Atleast hes not interrogating her. hehe

[trophywife4fun]

I'm with you, 10 minutes for me but I have friends that can take weeks to let you know she likes you.

[strings101]

Originally Posted by trophywife4fun

... I have friends that can take weeks to let you know she likes you.

I can tell you, with 99.9% experience-based certainty, that such tentative "WA" (weak attraction) women--at any age--are LAME in the bedroom. Now that I *know* this, down to my very marrow, I never for a moment lament moving beyond them, in 10 minutes or LESS, regardless of how "hot" they look.

Not only are lame WAs not committed to the man's sexual satisfaction, they're not even too keen on their OWN, i.e. what gets them "off" is having several AFCs pining after them. They are too dysfunctional on several levels, incl. too divorced from their own bodies, to really "let go" and GET INTO sex anyway. You will notice them living other human interaction aspects of their lives "at arm's length" also... workaholism is just one of these coverups. MANY cats is another one, lol.

Like most guys, before I grew wise about this (mostly American) phenom, I wasted a lot of time and heartfelt ANGST on such physically hot/metaphysically lame WAs; now I ID them FAST, generally in under 300 seconds, and it's NEXT! Not being callous here, I simply don't have the time--or Clinical Psych credentials--to repair the damage.

I'm not saying it shouldn't take a woman weeks+ to move from first meeting to the linen lambada, with several points for either party to "blow it" along the way, but the man should definitely KNOW, in the first 5-10 minutes, that things are MOVING IN THAT DIRECTION, and not some lame "WA" "let's be friends" dead-end. i.e. since savvy well-adjusted cougar babes KNOW this guy is a "contender" (or not) in the first 5 mins., they need to CONVEY that, in their classy multi-layered verbal/non-verbal/utterly charming way... eh?

[kmussekl]

I used to be good at judging if there was something to build on when meeting a girl. But I have been very surprised after I started chasing older women and maybe because they have a lot more self confidence and know what they want, I just can not read them that well.

I have been on the site and got contact to 4-5 women and started to arrange to meet them (I really find all of them very attractive and nice to communicate with). And then at the first meeting with one of them, in a nice bar, I felt she was not at all interested (I was too young etc. - the gap is 40 years), she had to leave she took my hand and kissed me and said we should have another date and I should not be so shy. At the next date we made love to each other.

Strange? I'm more the type of girl who can take weeks before judging whether or not I will venture with a guy, as I prefer quality over quantity, but I've never been told that I'm lousy in the bedroom. Quite often, I had requests for a second helping, and never heard a complaint in that department, whether directly or indirectly! I must be a strange WA then? IMHO I find that people do differ, and people do VARY! I can be more responsive to a man's attention on one day, and be completely taken with emergencies the next, and will not give any attention to anybody but focus on the problems at hand. I've seen men waiting to see me in a relaxed mood, and making a move, when they know they've got a good chance, and never regretted it afterwards. And I got the opportunity to get to know someone interesting in a relaxed atmosphere. People do vary, and moods and tiredness does come into play. Try to pick up a woman when she's got something major and important, and see what happens! Did you know what the lady went through the previous 24 hours before trying to get to know her? I've sometimes cheered up depressed men, just by giving them a kind word of comfort, as I could see that the guy went through some trauma on that day, and it often resulted in true friendships, and sometimes even more! But the guy was a mess on that day! And my primary intention was certainly not to get to know him, but simply cheer him up, to keep on living!

[charliebrowns]

Usually within 10 but eyes, facial expressions, smiles, tell it all. Don't rely on talk but non verbal expressions

[blueize]

I can sense the attraction within a few seconds -less than 15. What we do with that depends on a lot of other variables. Is he a jerk, or a considerate guy? Does he want to get to know a woman? Does he share a few of my values? The attraction is always obvious, what I do with it is something I consider for a while.