Weird Situation: Is There A Chance?

[bigmtnman]

Hey All!
I saw this forum and thought maybe someone could help with my situation (or lack of one). I go to this bank nearby my house and recently, maybe over the last two months or so, I have been running into this woman who works there.

The first time I was there with my roommate and she walked up from a back counter (she works at a counter to the side of the tellers, I don't know what her job is) and said "hi," then she started talking to me about this cooking show that was on the overhead television, asking if I cooked and such. I made small talk for a few minutes before I was called to the teller, if I remember correctly there were a few other people in line. At the time I thought she was addressing me because I am pretty friendly and usually smiling, I am also pretty big (collegiate rugby) so cooking seemed relevant to me (it is I love to cook).

The second time, I don't remember if she came out from behind the desk, but we exchanged glances and she was always smiling at me.

The last time I was at the bank I saw a girl from one of my classes and was talking to her about her summer or something, and this woman came out from behind her desk to ask if we needed help (filling out deposit slips) and then she just made small talk for a minute after my classmate went off to the teller.

I am always just polite, I am shy around women, so I just make small talk and listen. I am pretty sure she is around 45 and has children, I haven't looked for a ring, but I will the next time I am there. If there is no ring, should I just ask her out? I usually like bigger women, but I think she is cute even though she is very thin, and small, I just don't want to make her feel uncomfortable in her workplace.

Sorry for rambling, anyone have any advice?

[valerie]

I would say to definitely check out that ring finger next time! My goodness...you must be smitten to have not noticed it the first time around! LOL She is flirting with you darling.... please DO ask her out in a casual way next time you see her. Maybe you could ask her what time she gets off work and if she has time to go for a drink or coffee. If she has little ones waiting for her, then she'll probably make that excuse gracefully, but don't let that stop you! I think she likes you...so the ball's in YOUR court, big guy! ;-)

[vita]

I don't have much advice really, sorry. I think it's tricky to read situations. For myself, I know I find it easier to be friendly with people I don't fancy rather than those I do. Is there a "half-way" house you can try instead of going the whole way and asking her out? That way you can test her reactions first and gauge whether there's interest e.g. ask what films she likes and then maybe joke about going to see it..or, carry on with the cooking theme, and joke about cooking a candlelight dinner. Mind you, even then, people can be taken by surprise and not give a true reaction. So, yes, I'd say go a bit slower but always try and say and do things which are about gauging interest and trying to distinguish it from friendliness

[surfkitty]

I would tell her that she has been very helpful and you would love to get a cup of coffee together to show your appreciation. If she says no, she will probably still be flattered and let you down gently. If she says yes, then you're on your way. Good Luck.