I need some advice from the guys

[olderisbetter44]

ok, so I admit that I am relatively new to this cougar scene and I have not actually "been" with a guy that much younger than me, though I have been attracted to younger guys all my life.

I found a guy in my area and I sent him a message on facebook that said I am a cougar and I want to have him for dinner and he responded that when he is home he is an all you can eat buffet. So now I am not sure what to do.

Please don't laugh at me...I really want advice

[bathinginwindex]

I'm not really sure what he means by that..did he say it when any smiley's or anything? I'm having trouble understanding if he's interested by that response...did he say anything else? If I were you I'd just respond back with something kind of flirting but still pressing the question. Like "is that a yes or no?" with a winkey face or something, haha.

Hope that helps..

[laine175]

Well...I would read that as he thinks you mean you want to HAVE him for dinner...rather than cook him a dinner....in which case...SCORE...I think he likes you and you can feed on him.....but I could be wrong!!!!

[olderisbetter44]

yes laine. I didn't give the whole exchange here but it is somewhat evident that he is open to me "having him for dinner" lol. I just am not sure how to draw the line between being too aggressive and not being aggressive enough. I don't want to scare him away or make him think I am stalking him but in the brief encounters I have had on the internet with younger men I have been very attracted to physically and intellectually I have sort of got the impression that the younger guys want us to stalk them. I guess I am just a little confused because I was always taught that the man should be the aggressor but I think in the cougar/cub situation it might be the opposite and I just don't want to come accross as desperate or anything.

[bathinginwindex]

Honestly, every guy is different and I don't think your coming off as desperate, especially if you are really flirty about it. Some guys like women to take control in some aspects. Maybe sort of quiz each other about things? Like.."what do you look for in a woman" and stuff, but at the same time keep it flirty and tease-y, and not just straight up...guys like that, haha.

[laine175]

I think bathinginwindex is spot on....in my experience....and it's not that much!! I've had a mixure but the fact the he's come back in the way he has suggests he's not shy!! and I think flirty nudging will get what you need to know, ultimately if he's gonna run...there's not a whole heap you can do. I'd play it cool and PM him back asking if he was an all you can eat buffet!! I wish you luck hun

[lunamor]

Originally Posted by olderisbetter44

I just am not sure how to draw the line between being too aggressive and not being aggressive enough[...]I have sort of got the impression that the younger guys want us to stalk them

Well, I understand your hesitation, but I'd like to add that it shouldn't be all about doing what the guys want - you're not a Cougar Service provider! You're a woman, and you should act as you feel. You shouldn't do anything you don't feel comfortable doing.

Good luck!

[houstoncougar]

I hope what you're implying is that you want sex on the first date because I think that is how the whole exchange is coming across and that is what he is going to expect...

[lynda]

Ditto Houston! It does sound like he is expecting sex the first time you meet.

[susanlb50]

Yea I agree with Houston..if you want sex when you first meet then the response should be fine, if not, I would say..lol funny response, but you do know I meant I would love to cook dinner for you...and see what he says then...