Dating

[olderisbetter44]

I went on my first real date Friday night. It was not with someone I met here but he is 35 (looks a lot younger though) and I am 44. We had a very nice time but I came accross something interesting. He insists that I am not a cougar because although I am hot (his words not mine) and am attracted to younger men, cougars are only interested in casual sex. He was telling me this as a compliment, I believe, but I am now confused not as to whether or not I am really a cougar. I don't consider cougar to be a deragatory term but I think some people do.

My date also kept reminding me that he is not THAT much younger than me. It was like he wanted to separate himself from the cougar chasers that are only looking for one thing.

Funny thing: we both got carded. I think the watress was just trying to be nice to me by carding me too because she said she has to card anyone that looks younger than 27.

[wetnwild]

Originally Posted by olderisbetter44

He insists that I am not a cougar because although I am hot (his words not mine) and am attracted to younger men, cougars are only interested in casual sex.

Well, I was going to say ignoramus, but maybe I will be nice today. No, he is still an ignoramus, sorry. Did he write the book on being a cougar or something? Who made him the expert? I know LOTS of us women on here who consider ourselves cougars but are interested in MUCH more than just casual sex. Maybe that is the media portrayal of cougars, in his defense. But at his age he ought to know better than to believe everything the media has to say!

Congrats though on getting carded! That is always a good feeling!

[mizbehavin]

Ah, the media thing strikes again!

So did you have fun on your date and are you two seeing each other again?

[susanlb50]

I don't mind being called a cougar, but I do mind people thinking that I am only looking for sex...we are attracted to younger guys, but still looking for a relationship or even love...when someone wants to chat with me, unfortunetly I have to tell them upfront I'm NOT looking for casual sex, what a shame that the interest can't just be an interest in getting to know us and wanting to date us because there's not only an attraction but because they like who we are....not saying this is all guys, there are some that truely are just interested in dating someone older...wish there was a dating site for just that...

[sonia]

I don't really know where or when the term 'cougar' was coined and what its original meaning was. So the guy meant that the definition of cougar is an older woman who is only looking for sex with younger men, therefore older women looking for actual relationships with younger men would never be labelled cougars? I wonder how many guys are under the same impression which means that they would assume all the women on this site are just looking for casual sex or at least be willing to have sex with anyone they meet from here very soon after meeting ie we must be 'sluts' - as I recall a GC woman was referred to by an extremely ignorant young man as noted in another thread - so they can 'hit and run' so to speak. So even if we say we want a relationship they will just play along not really believing it? How unfortunate. But he is right in saying that 9 years is an insignificant age difference. And please enlighten this ignorant UK cousin - what does carded mean?

[susanlb50]

Sonia, in the states you have to be 21 to drink, so when you go into a bar if you look younger, they ask to see an Id...which is usually your drivers license, which shows your age..

[houstoncougar]

there you have it in a nutshell that is exactly what most people male and female alike think the definition of the word cougar is. Like it or not that is what people think and it you can thank the media and the ignorance of the general public who believe everything they read and hear.

[vickeee]

I had the unfortunate experience of meeting one of the guys from this site. I was suppose to meet him for a drink. We met at a gas station where I was suppose to follow him to place to talk and get to know each other. Instead we went to flea market kind of eating place where he got some food. While he was eating I went to get a cup of coffee. He called me on my cell (while I was in the coffee shop) and said he was going to run home to put his leftovers in the fride... would be back in 5... and to wait in the coffee shop. I (thank God) waited in my car. He then called and asked me if I wanted to go back to my place or a hotel cuz he wanted sex and right then. Well needless to say I declined. (That was so not a conversation I would have wanted to have in a coffee shop full of people!)

Just a heads up guys... if your leftovers are more important than your date... You have a very serious problem!!!

[wetnwild]

Oh vickeee....I have to say that definitely tops my worst first date that I posted about on "what not to do on a first date!" Maybe we should start a whole new thread of these "what not to do on a first date" kind of things!! GAAAWWWW!!! What are these guys thinking? That we are so desperate that we are just going to drop our panties for any and every young guy that comes along?!?!?! They have NO idea, do they? We pretty much have our pick and they just don't get it!

So sorry this happened to you. It doesn't even sound like you two talked to each other before his "invitation"!

[whosyourdaddy]

hello sweethart well he says your hot but if your a cougar he dont want to chase you ? im a bit connfused here , i think your quite attractive myself but id have to id you 1st because you might be younger then 27