A mind is a terrible thing to waste...

[arealthing]

...on reading some of the lame messages I've been getting.

First of all, if a cougar is defined as someone who pursues younger men, that's not my style, but I don't object to them pursuing me. The thing is, do you guys think we lose our intelligence as we age?

I'm afraid I wasn't very nice to someone who messaged me today; I basically gave him the written smack-down. So maybe I should post on my profile:

1. I have interviewed hundreds of people from all walks of life about their personal and financial lives. I have taken recorded testimony in auto accident cases as a claims adjuster. And I raised two sons. That makes me good at spotting lies, and liars. An unfortunate side effect is skepticism. It is, however, what makes me good at what I do for a living now. It's also the reason that if I'm interested in someone I'll meet them in person fairly quickly. Close-up it's much easier to tell.

2. Please don't message me if you just want sex, because I don't just want sex, and if you're under 30 (35 even) you have no concept of what I'm seeking. I doubt I'll find it here but I'm not overlooking possible avenues since the odds aren't the best due to 1 and 3.

3. Because I'm so intelligent, I need someone just as witty, quirky, imaginative, and intelligent. Someone real. Someone not looking to just get laid. Someone who's never bored, because they can always find something to do. I'm not here to relieve your boredom!

I'm verklempt. Talk amongst yourselves...

[arealthing]

FYI the reason I mentioned the experience is not because I believe the worst of people or am negative toward them. That's not it. It does prevent me from wasting time with someone I know is not compatible, which I think is reasonable for both of us, n'est ce pas?

[startpoint]

Dear arealthing,
I am a 31 UK male and am not intrested in sex, I prefer lovemaking and in order to achive this I have to get to know a person. I also seek an older woman purley becasue of her mind and waht it has to offer. I need a woman who encourages me to explore life and who has many varied intrests. I do not want anyone to provide entertainment for me. I am very much in love with someone who has a brilliant mind and I long to engage with her, to talk and to listen. I hope that you do find someone who apreciates your finer points, a pity I do not live in the US!

[sharps]

No-one under 30 (35 even) understands that you don't JUST want sex and has no idea at all what that could mean, or what it means you really want.

I find it insulting, as someone well under 30, but also respect you outlining your points and straight talking. Best of luck.

[ares9]

Originally Posted by arealthing

2. Please don't message me if you just want sex, because I don't just want sex, and if you're under 30 (35 even) you have no concept of what I'm seeking.

Would that be 'true love' perhaps? Just a wild guess

[arealthing]

Originally Posted by ares9

Would that be 'true love' perhaps? Just a wild guess

I don't believe in "true love". And anyone who just wants sex from me also probably only uses the knife on a Leatherman multi-tool...what a waste!

What I do expect is respect and good manners, regardless of the age of the man. Those two things usually help get things off to a decent start.

[arealthing]

Originally Posted by sharps

No-one under 30 (35 even) understands that you don't JUST want sex and has no idea at all what that could mean, or what it means you really want.

I find it insulting, as someone well under 30, but also respect you outlining your points and straight talking. Best of luck.

@sharps--Why would you find it insulting? Regardless of the fact that I know men want sex, I get real tired of younger men who say that older women "know what they want" but are still actually only referring to sex.

Everyone wants sex, that's sort of a no-brainer, so I know you weren't understanding my statement. I want someone mature enough to approach it from an intellectual standpoint, giving it the respect and attention a good sexual relationship deserves! (OMG, she used the "R" word!) Any man out there who thinks that sex with "no strings attached" exists outside of prostitution is kidding himself. I never pretend to my lovers that I'm emotionally detached from them, because I'm not. Some women will say they are but are usually lying to themselves for whatever reason.

I know exactly what I want. And someday I'll have it. It just might have to be more than one man making up the composite relationship that will meet my and my future partner(s) needs.

[arealthing]

Originally Posted by tantricblissforu

if you're under 30 (35 even) you have no concept of what I'm seeking.

Prove it. :-)

You do have a point, so maybe I should have said there are a few rare exceptions. However, those men have usually either already been married or in LTRs before and/or have kids, both of which raise a man's ability to reason and compromise, IMHO.

And technically, it's sort of up to them to "prove it"...

[sharps]

It's quite obvious that you will say i don't understand your statement for 2 reasons.

It just suits you to do so, and me revealing my age to you makes it easier just to discard any possible understanding i may have.

Your statement is flawed as it seems that all knowledge is dependant on age and now you're castrating me and going off on a tangent about no strings attached sex because i challenged it by saying it's insulting.

Either way, i am under 30 and inferior to you and your obvious superior knowledge. As well as being very much in touch with yourself and your own needs, which is great by the way, you also have a superb knowledge of me, my needs and what i understand, so perhaps you could share notes with me and i'll go looking properly.

[ares9]

Originally Posted by arealthing

I don't believe in "true love". And anyone who just wants sex from me also probably only uses the knife on a Leatherman multi-tool...what a waste!

What I do expect is respect and good manners, regardless of age the man. Those two things usually help get things off to a decent start.

What do you mean you don't believe in true love?? How about false love? Sounds like you may be pretty familiar with that right? It's not like used a whimsical term like "love at first sight" or "soulmates"

Anyway hmm... good manners over "true love" (actually "love" - shhh!) sounds awful boring to me...