How do you answer this question?

[woalukather]

I believe that when someone asks :

"What are you looking for?"

It is the annoying equivalent of when someone IMs and asks:

asl? (age, sex, location)

I am not really LOOKING for anything, I am simply interacting with other people. Most often MALE people ( a real pleasure!).

It is impossible to answer that question because if you say:

"Nothing" you may get nothing.
If you say a LTR, the other person may see you as needy.

I think that most men are hoping that they will get the answer that the woman wants sex, sex, sex and nothing else. Just do me, cum and putyour pants on.

All kidding aside.

I am frustrated in people asking "What are you looking for?"

............within 2 sentences of communication!

It's impossible to know that the person you are emailing or talking with is a match or not.

I am never "looking" for anything, I believe that it is best to live your life, be happy, interact with others and whatever is supposed to happen, will happen.

[lynda]

Amen! Great to know that someone else feels the same.

Well, I wouldn't exactly equate "what are you looking for?" to "a/s/l?". But it's a legitimate question. People want to know whether or not they'll be wasting their time on someone who might not be for them.

But I think you've got the right attitude. I take the same approach. I'm not looking for anything in particular, especially when it comes to relationships, because if you are actively seeking something out, your mind will force itself to find it in someone or something that really isn't good for you in reality. And at my stage in life (23) I'd much rather experience new things and see what the world has to offer.

If someone does happen to ask you what you are looking for, just give them a general answer. "I want a someone attractive and intelligent, blah, blah, blah." Or whatever. It's not that big of a deal and if you can navigate the conversation well enough most people can be distracted from pursuing an actual answer.

[genevieve717]

I usually have no idea how to answer that question. But it doesn't bother me much if someone asks it. It's probably easier for me to tell someone about what I'm NOT looking for than it is to tell what I am looking for if that makes any sense.

Just when its asken that really counts, two sentences into your first messege isnt good. But in the long run isnt that somthing we all want to know about a person were intrested in?

That's a good reason to completely fill out your profile and post good pics. It seems to help eliminate some of that. If a guy's profile is full of "I'll tell you laters" and/or has no good pics posted, I tend to pass them by. They are here to help guide us to people who share our interests, have similar hobbies, passions, activity levels and such. It sure weeds out that question too soon, that is, if people take the time to read each others' profiles....lol.

Love & Peace,
Dreamer

[compnurse]

Yes, being up front about looking for an LTR is exactly that, honest - and reduces the amount of time spent on someone who clearly is not looking for the same thing. Most of us are very busy people and it is only natural to spend our valuable time concentrating on those who seek the same thing. And dreamer is quite right - completely answering everything on the profile questions tells the reader a lot about whether there is possibly a potential match there - or not!

Originally Posted by fireinmyblood

Well, I wouldn't exactly equate "what are you looking for?" to "a/s/l?". But it's a legitimate question. People want to know whether or not they'll be wasting their time on someone who might not be for them.

But I think you've got the right attitude. I take the same approach. I'm not looking for anything in particular, especially when it comes to relationships, because if you are actively seeking something out, your mind will force itself to find it in someone or something that really isn't good for you in reality. And at my stage in life (23) I'd much rather experience new things and see what the world has to offer.

If someone does happen to ask you what you are looking for, just give them a general answer. "I want a someone attractive and intelligent, blah, blah, blah." Or whatever. It's not that big of a deal and if you can navigate the conversation well enough most people can be distracted from pursuing an actual answer.

I agree with this reply. I think the question is fair. I ask it myself so that I'm not wasting time. I think you should be upfront.

I was recently involved with a guy who's 26. I normally don't date guys older than 23, but he's someone I've known for over 8 years. He told me straight up that he's not looking for a girl friend.

I've learned that the older boys carry too much dirty baggage from past failed relationships. It's better to stick with the younger guys. They're more fun.

I'm not trying to sell myself to be his girlfriend like someone peddling oranges on the freeway. But I don't need to be with someone with preset limits either.

I'm glad that I asked the question. It puts everything in perspective.
Asking questions is important. There's no such thing as a stupid question except the one that you didn't ask.

Not to sound mean, but what on earth are you doing on a COUGAR website?

krisatt....who were you addressing? I've often thought the exact same question when I observe 50 year old men lurking at my profile or alleged 24 year old girls with model pics sign up as new members. LMAO!!! What are they thinking?