Lovesick Lady Needs Advice

[londoncalling]

Thanks, buni. I'm counting the days until I see him again. I know that may sound pathetic, but Scott totally rocked my world. I'm 90% sure that Scott will remember me when we see each other again. The guy who introduced me to Scott last year told me that Scott was definitely attracted to me. A few other people I know who saw us talking mentioned to me that they could see a lot chemistry between me and Scott.

But I'm a "good girl" and I wasn't going to take it further at the time because he had a girlfriend back then. I would be absolutely floored and thrilled beyond belief if I found out that he thought about me as much as I thought about him. But for now, I just have to find out if he even wants to date me, and I'll know for sure the next time I see him. I wish he was staying in New York for more than a few days, but I just have to make the most of the time that he's here.

And then eventually he's going to find out that I'm 11 years older than he is, and I have to see how he's going to handle that. People are always shocked when they find out my age, because I look 12-15 years younger than I really am. Some people think I'm even younger than that. I was in Vegas not too long ago and I got carded before I went into a casino because the guy at the door thought I was under 21!

[realmanintexas]

how do you know youre gonna see him again?? you really need to email this guy before he forgets who you are. you did yourself over by not getting in contact soon after you met. the creep factor sets in about three weeks later lol

[londoncalling]

Realmaintexas,

Here are the answers to your questions:

1. I know I'm going to see him again on his next business trip to New York, because he'll be here for an annual convention. This year he's a guest speaker on a panel, but even if he wasn't, I know he was planning to go to the convention anyway.

2. I didn't want to contact him at his job right after we met because, as I mentioned before, he had a girlfriend at the time. He also has an assistant who screens all of his email and phone calls. Also, soon after we met, he was very busy traveling for a few months.

Scott and I had the kind of connection that it would be pointless if either of us tried to be "just friends." There was enough flirting between us that I know if I had contacted him soon after we met, it would be obvious what I was after, and it's just not appropriate for me to do that for a man who's unavailable. That's not my style.

It's very easy to say "just email him," but I won't email him at work for something this personal when his assistant (and possibly other people at his job) can read that email too. And as long as he had a girlfriend, I wasn't going to "go there."

I also can't change the past and I'm not going to get caught up in thinking, "What if I did this back then? What if I did that?" I have no regrets about how I handled this. If Scott still had a girlfriend, I would respect that and not try to break up the relationship by pursing something with him. But now that he's available, we'll see what happens. And this time, there's no reason why we shouldn't exchange each other's personal contact info. He won't have to feel guilty about it.

The next time I talk to Scott, it will be in person. I actually prefer it that way. If he's going to ask me out, I'd rather he do it in person than by email.

[realmanintexas]

let me start off by saying that i respect where you're coming from

but as a guy myself, here's where i personally think you're going wrong:
1- unless the man is engaged, he is above all SINGLE.
2- who cares if his emails are screened? sounds like a red herring to me
3- go ahead and don't regret what you've done so far at all... that's good. but it doesn't mean you went about it the correct way! you're the one posting on some obscure forum, asking advice from people you don't know, and checking for updates daily on a matter as important as this. laugh out loud. can only imagine what youre doing irl. if i was the guy and i knew of this, id be far from flattered.
4- the email serves its intended purpose perfectly because no matter what the guy's doing, how much he's traveling, or how busy he is, he will be checking his email. also there's no reason for it to seem suggestive when someone besides him reads it.

truthfully its your dilemma not mine, so i dont care either way. please dont mistake my honest tone for effrontery though. it seems like youre trying to be really traditional about this situation but if im certain of anything, it's that your chances of moving to london to be with this guy as you said are slim to none with the method youve resolved to use. the possibility of your meeting at the convention and it leading to something substantial are only lessened if you havent been in contact since your last distant meeting.

[buni]

oh please!obscure? Ha!
You just have no idea!