Need help!!! Don't know what to do!!!

[pinkgloss]

Hello fellow cougars!!!

Here's my dilemna-
There is this younger guy in my office whom I have felt an immense connection with for the past year. He's about 10 years younger than I am. All we've ever done is flirt - for a year! When he was flirting with me he had made insinuations about us getting together; however, I didn't take it seriously because we were flirting! I think he likes me - he gets goofy around me; he stutters a little when he talks to me and I mentioned the insinuations above. But he has never come out and asked me out. I'm usually the type to initiate a date if I'm really interested. I didn't in this situation because I'm afraid that if I do and I'm wrong about him, then he will blab to his friends about me asking him out and I don't want to be humiliated. That's why I would prefer that he ask me out. But he hasn't and I'm not sure what's stopping him. I also noticed now that he hasn't been as flirtatious - now it's like a quick hello and he leaves.
I still feel this connection and attraction to him and I can't shake it. Believe me, I've tried! So, after a year of hoping he would ask me out, I've decided to ask him out-without really asking him out. I was going to tell him I needed his input on something and ask him out to lunch and hope that maybe we can discuss going out. And I'm not lying; I really would like his input on this particular item. And even if he tells me his not interested, or he has a girlfriend, or whatever, that's ok, because I just feel I need to know how he really feels about me so I can move on. I'm tired of wondering will he or won't he, does he or doesn't he, should I or shouldn't I.
I guess my question is twofold, or threefold - do you think he is still interested, if you think he was in the first place and should I go with my plan and ask him to lunch? Guys, feel free to weigh in on this question as well.
Thanks for the input!

[dverdier]

From a guy's perspective:

The best thing you could possibly do is see if he wants to do lunch. Not as a date, and not even really to probe for info. Just go eat some lunch with him, play a little flirtatious, and see what he does. If he flirts back, then you're probably good to go. Now I wouldn't go ahead and be forward right after that. Ask him out to lunch again, and just try to flirt a little more. Maybe he thought nothing was going to come of it since its been such a long time so he backed off.

My best advice if you really feel the connection is to do the lunch thing. There's no problem with that, and then you'll know for sure.

[buni]

I'd ask him to lunch, be yourself and just get to know him away from the office and see what happens from there.
(basically what dverdier said)

and let us know how it goes

[sweetprince]

pinkgloss: From male gazelle point of view: DO SOMETHING! Don't wait any longer because either you will go mad or him or both of you But... but first get some more actual info about him - maybe as tarni suggested he has a new gf, so you were waiting too long.

[bostonmac84]

if yur a hot cougar, there's no way he's gonna miss out on dinner trust me! no guy passes oppritunity like that. u know how hard it is to ask a women on a date. with guys the answer is 99.9% yes. the .1% is if he's on crack. trust me ask him out and touch him on his knee as u talk to him. we love when yur obvious, then ask him what his fave movie is and invite him over to watch it with u over yur place. if he comes over with u after dinner, then ask him if he has a gf, if he doesnt give him a compliment, and look into his eyes and kiss him. then its on from there. tell me if that worked

[energeticmale]

Do you know if he's seeing anyone else at all? Some guys just like to flirt a little on the side to know a woman is attracted to them and that they make her feel good even if they are already in a relationship. And others are hoping for a little sex on the side as well. Definitely ask him to lunch and for his input on something and maybe even mention that you're seeing someone now and see how he takes it.

[kevinopatrick]

Here is my only question to you Pinkgloss: Would you feel better afterward having gone to lunch and learning that things are or aren't going to work out for you two or always wondering what his answer would have been?

Life is too short for missed opportunities (if i may use a cliche).