I am really shy

[emmanuel123]

As I walk down the streets of Manhattan I see many beautiful older ladies which I wish I could just have as a friend but I don't know am really shy to talk to them. Can someone help me surpass this shyness

[Jypzee]

go to a nightclub that caters to an older clientele and ask someone to dance

[aidan]

I have been where you are and what helped me overcome my shyness was to drop all sense of vainity and pride. Be yourself, don't expect anything, and be polite when you address the woman. Shyness for me was a lack of self confidence and the fear of rejection. By not expecting anything from the encounter you remove the fear of rejection. For the lack of self confidence I often talked myself up mentally and approached a woman and started a conversation. The one thing you have to remember is that self confidence is very visible... you walk straighter, carry yourself better and often is a very important trait to have when you want to communicate with ANYONE, not just women.

So pick your best qualities, focus on them and do not think about your insecurities... in other words, do not talk yourself out of reaching for something or someone that you desire.

[violet]

Oh, I'm shy in those situations as well. I think for people like us it's easier to put ourselves in more of a group situation...for example, go to an outdoor concert and then you have something to actually talk to another person about, i.e. the music. Taking a class or working on a project is another idea, but that takes more commitment. Jypzee's dance idea is a good one too...I think all guys should learn to dance!

[emmanuel123]

Thnx @violet I will definitely take that into cosideration

[lunamor]

Lots of good advice here! Also, don't underestimate the power of boyish charm ehehe Just learning to make eye contact and saying "Hi" with a real smile will go a long way, too - it's the first toe in the door!

I hope you'll keep us posted on your attempts, and let us know how it's going.

[emmanuel123]

Lol definitely I will keep ya updated

[lovelyj]

I agree with all of you. Blanket statement here, but women are so much more interested in the act and art of conversation than men. We are typically good at interpersonal communication, have been trained by society for that since birth, practically. So we are also adept, usually, at helping along in a conversation someone who is shy.

I for one am more interested in men who are by nature shy then those who are by nature super confident.

So go ahead, speak up, and sometimes even saying, "I was almost too shy to ask you this, but....(add here whatever conversation starter you have in mind). That can get you a very long way and you're just being super honest!

BTW, I also agree that women LOVE men who can dance. And they also love men who get manicures and pedicures too. Men are so "homophobic" about those two things, but women really (and I mean REALLY) appreciate men who do both!

[cooper504]

No matter what, just be yourself, nothing bad can come of this when you meet the right person.

[lovelyj]

Oh, to clarify: not necessarily a mani-pedi at a nail salon. Just clean, short nails, by any means.