Quote:
Originally Posted by tacittales  Reading back, this made a whole lot more sense inside my head.... |
eh..happens to me all the time. I seem to be perfectly capable of talking myself to a utterly confused standstill. I'm sure that will be the case here
I'm still not real convinced that I grasp exactly what you are trying to express but I'll snag what I see and run with it. Probably off base but perhaps it will, if nothing else help you clarify for us what you
aren't talking about..lol
Caveat: all this rambling is IMO and YMMV
Few factors...
Open mindedness is something of an interpretive concept I think.
For some folks simply interacting on line period is open minded behavior. Certainly breaking established social mores and taboos is. Some people are just more exploratory than others by nature. Its not that they are necessarily more "open minded" per se, but that its kind of hard wired with in them to be more adaptable to new experiences and changes within the realms of their own perceptions. IOW, they are rigid in their flexibility...sounds like a zen thing doesn't it?
'nother factor being Compatibility.
True Friendship is a highly under rated thing IMO. And far more difficult to obtain than a lover. Personally I can't be romantically involved with anyone that I can't be friends with and I don't care if he looks like Adonis ::g:: Conversely the more I like someone the more attractive they become to me. So I may start out luke warm on the subject but find as various mental and emotional connections are made that the person has become
extremely interesting indeed
And some interactions for whatever reason stay in the Friend category regardless...don't always know why that is but it happens. Some spark or something simply isn't there to cause it to be anything else.
Another Factor and probably the most driving one is what
needs are being met (or not) by any given interaction. The need for something or another is what spurs people to seek connection.
For example Distance is a big issue for a lot of people. Far as I can tell its because LD relationships while not impossible, do have really bad track records. Some of the most common ways people bond with one another occur on a subconscious level..things like touch, scent and consistent proximity. Don't get much of that done via IM and phone calls. If the person is the type that
needs that form of bonding on a more or less regular basis then naturally they will eschew becoming romantically involved with someone too far away.
Third which falls under the sub heading of compatibility I guess, is Priority or what is inherently important to the individuals. What makes them feel secure, or good or what jibes with their core belief systems...or whatever...That can vary widely from person to person, and they may not always be rational but We
all have em.
The lack of any one of these factors coming into play or playing out in an incompatible way is going to invariably lead to some sort of disconnect.
::g:: did any of that hold the least bit of relevance to the topic?